Young ladies? I ROCK ya!

I thought I'd do a music post!

I've been lately trying to sort of "score" TWC as a series and I finally put together a playlist on YouTube to help me. Now instead of just looking these songs up when I'm not a computer with my MP3s (which is most of the time), I can just go to my playlist! Yaaay!

..So it's a work in progress, but I have 15? I think? songs on there right now from varying points in the series. Most of them are around TWC3-4 though. :P At this point it's like every chapter in TWC4 has a song. GAH.

Here's the link to the playlist in general: THIS link! Right HERE! There is no actual rocking of young ladies involved. Unless you like a lot of 80s music and quite a bit of schmoopy love songs. :D And if you do, YOU'RE ME! XD Enjoy the playlist!

So I'm also thinking, since it's not necessarily clear at a glance, that I'll elaborate on a few of these picks. They are roughly in order in the series, starting with Love Stinks by the J. Geils Band!

- This is the unofficial "theme" of TWC. It's expliclitly referenced in "High, Dry, and Flooded" (twice in fact) but it's been the "theme" for the series ever since I heard it in high school when I was first writing the fics.
- It's the "Love Triangle" thing in case you didn't get it. :P
- I didn't hear it on the radio for years and then suddenly there it was in rotations again, occasionally. YAY! Finally I caved and bought the MP3.
- It's used brilliantly in "The Wedding Singer" which is among my "guilty pleasure" RomComs. That movie makes me cry to the point where I'll watch the happy ending twice in a row. But I digress.
- My father was friends with J. Geils! :D Random fun fact.

Just today I added the second song, Another Day by Paul McCartney (and Wings? I'm not clear on that). I've had a lot of trouble finding songs for the first two fics. I wanted something that would kind of sum up Beth, too.
- They play this song at my grocery store sometimes which is what brought it to my attention. :P
- When I finally looked up the words I realized it was pretty perfect for Beth at the start of the series, as it sums up a boring, lonely life lived by an ordinary woman who never has anything interesting happen to her.
- Paul McCartney's solo stuff is so LIVELY. :D
- This is the only song I have for TWC1 so far. If anyone can suggest anything else that would be great!

I'll do another post sometime soon with the next few songs. ^_^

Double-Post With the Most

I dunno why it is but it's like, if I actually post here, a lot of times I end up DOUBLE-posting. Haha.

So who's up for some over-PG-rated talk? No? You may leave, sir!

To clarify though I'm not about to get smutty. Just some musing on the kind of fic I usually write, and the fact that I don't generally go above a PG rating... even though occasionally I am tempted. *G*

So to be honest, when it comes to sex/adult situations, my rating is kept low due to my own... squidginess with the subject matter. I have never really felt comfortable writing sexy duck stuff, or reading it, to be perfectly honest. I won't turn it down when it's a friend that has written it but I have to put myself into another mindset to do it, and I won't ever seek it out from someone I don't know. It's just not my bag (slash, het, crack pairing, whatever - it doesn't matter, I just don't go beyond PG, a little innuendo. I'll do a "fade to black" and that's about as far as I actively am interested in).

However, I'll admit that I do occasionally find that as i'm writing a scene I have to really, really struggle to keep it... well, "clean". I'm not talking about characters stripping or anything like that but just the undertones. There's a scene in TWC1, when Beth finds out that Drake and LP live in the same house, and there just was no way that I couldn't write it as if she thinks she's discovered that they're a gay couple. She's like, subtly disappointed, right? Yeah. I couldn't bring myself to *say* it but neither could I not write it. To me it was REALLY obvious she'd jump to that conclusion. :D

Likewise, in the chapter of TWC3 that I just posted this evening, LP and Beth have this super-awkward conversation about how she really wants a family but she's never even had a boyfriend; I was trying very hard as I wrote it to not make it obvious that she was really confessing to him that she was a virgin. I mean, if she's never had a boyfriend, DUH, but you know, in a cartoon universe that's not an issue. *G* But that just became the subtext of the scene, and made it about ten times more awkward. These are things that I would assume will likely be more obvious than I thought they were as I wrote them, which means ... they're probably pretty bad. ^^;

The last subject is the topic of actual sexuality, which - well, if I shy away from general innuendo, you'd have to guess that I avoid sexuality like the plague. And I do, but honestly, it's not like it never crosses my mind. One thing about Beth is that she isn't exactly physically demonstrative, but when she hugs someone, they STAY hugged if you know what I mean. You probably don't. :D She's generally never aware of how her actions or things she says come across, and especially not at first, so when Beth hugs someone she gives it her all. She like really, REALLY hugs them. Not in a crushing way but in this way where she presses her entire upper body against them and kind of nestles her head into their shoulder. Drake finds it really uncomfortable but LP finds it really intimate and it gets to him immediately.

From there I end up finding myself writing him just... thinking about touching her, wanting to be in contact with her, putting his hand on her back while he hugs her and just considering the shape of her; these are all actually very sensual and to a certain degree sexual things.

The farthest I'd ever be willing to go in terms of writing a DWD fic would be PG-13. I don't think I could ever write much more than some heavy smooching scenes and then the definite implication of the characters staying the night together... and even that... well it'll never happen in the "official" universe of my fics. (Especially 'cause I'd be selling out; I think Beth is the wait-until-marriage type for certain.)

And I have a lot of trouble writing kissing scenes and the like because I either under-describe or over-describe it; and because I'm genuinely afraid of making it too sexy, or possibly laughably too sexy. ;) Every so often I get it into my head to write one of these and I never do, but today's been one of those days where the whole idea won't stop floating around in there. So, there's the inspiration for this post. *G*

How do the people reading feel about "adult-oriented" material? I know how a couple of people following this blog feel, but offer anyone who'd like the opportunity to reply or weigh in. :)

Keeping it Real!

Thought this might be fun: in this blog entry I'm going to spell out the biggest differences between my Original Version of TWC1, "My Kingdom for a Double-Plait Bolt", and the rewrite.

The biggest difference is that the new fic is about three times as long. BUUUUUUT to get more specific:

- Okay, number one difference is the interpersonal dynamics. In the first version of the fic, Launchpad and Darkwing walked into Bindler's Hardware, Beth laid eyes on Drake and fell in love with him, and Launchpad laid eyes on Beth and fell for her. Why? I... I don't know. I wanted him to, I guess. I made a stab at explaining why Beth would fall for a guy who treated her like garbage from the start a little later, but it was never really satisfactory; I never really did fully explain what would've drawn Launchpad to Beth, whom he'd never met and who was not especially beautiful or all that interesting. She was just nice, and cute. So I wanted to give a little more depth to their relationship, therefore I set up the fact that they were kinda-sorta friends, or friendly anyway, and that LP likes flirting with her.

- Everything, and I mean everything, was just rushed. The whole thing was like an outline; stuff just happened, and then more stuff happened, and it was like I had five things I wanted to occur in this fic so that was what i wrote. I didn't make a lot of effort in the getting there. So Beth is just sort of plunked into the story; Megavolt just shows up at random; Drake just takes an instant dislike to Beth, etc etc.

- Megavolt had no real plot. I mean he was building something, that was it. I didn't ever really figure out what that thing was or what it would do, although I tried to pretend like I did. I believe (and this goes with the previous point) that at that stage I was able to write a fic in about 2-4 weeks so I guess that goes along with it.

I suppose that pretty much covers it for this one (I'm not thinking that clearly on it at the moment); for the most part I didn't change huge plot points in this, I just expanded on it and rewrote the character interactions, but it largely keeps the same structure, with a number of extra scenes. Stay tuned, though, as I will ultimately post about the differences between TWC2 OV and rewrite; that's a fun one. :)

Oh, and click the TWC1 tag if you are interested in reading any of the chapter notes for that story. The majority are spoiler-free. I haven't done any yet for TWC2 - I'm going to start them when the fic is done just in case I end up editing some of it. Doubtful but you never know...

Later!

NEWS FLASH!

OMG you guys. I finished the rewrite of TWC1. And I posted it to FF.net.

FINALLY. *weeps*

I hope it doesn't take me another 9 1/2 years to finish rewriting TWC2. I'll settle for 5 years. I'll call that short. :P

But for the time being I'm going to focus on trying to finish AAE... or at least get a big chunk of it done. I am starting to hate that fic, honestly....

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2451889/1/TWC_1_My_Kingdom_For_a_DoublePlait_Bolt

TWC 1 Deleted Scene

"Wow! This is just like a DVD!" I hear you saying to yourself, or perhaps to your friend or loved one as you eagerly read this blog together, as is your weekly tradition. (Oh yes, I know all about the life you lead.)

Anyway, though. From the length of my fics these days it probably seems I don't do any editing at all; contrary to that, though, I actually go over everything I write and take out things that don't really have any purpose. No, seriously, I do. *G* If the scene worked, other than just looking like padding, then I keep it in a separate file. So I thought, might as well post some here, right?

This then is a scene that originally came at the start of Act II, Chapter 3 of "Double-Plait Bolt". It's fairly short, but was long enough that I felt it would make a difference in the length if I snipped it; plus it didn't say anything I couldn't leave inferred or just put someplace else. Here is Beth getting ready, and being a nervous wreck, to take the bolt to Drake. For context I'm including the first paragraph of the next scene, which is actually the first scene in the released version of the chapter. Enjoy! I'd love any feedback!


****

Beth awoke with a jerk, surrounded by hardware manuals and encylopedias. The light in her bedroom was on and judging from the odd feeling in her cheek, she'd fallen asleep with her face on the edge of a book again. She touched the cheek gingerly, and found a medium-sized groove on the side of her face.

She groped for her glasses, came up empty, and realized they were still on her face; after adjusting to that, she fumbled for the clock instead and found it was nearly six-thirty a.m. Only about four hours since she'd fallen asleep, assuming she hadn't made it far since the last time she'd checked the clock. The idea of "research" on the double-plait bolts had seemed like a good one at one in the morning, but now it was starting to look as if she may have sabotaged herself. She wanted to get to Drake Mallard's house before he left for work, whenever that might be, and so she was going to have to hurry.

Her shower was necessarily quick, and as she dashed around her house getting dressed she rehearsed and revised what she'd say. "Mr. Mallard, I know this is unexpected, but we like to be very efficient at Bindler's." That sounded okay, but she could do better.

"We go the extra step for our customers!" she told her reflection as she paused before brushing her teeth. "That was really good. More like that. Um..." She thought, squeezing the toothpaste tube absently, and ended up with about a triple serving of toothpaste on her brush. "Ack! Gross!"

Her hair was dry enough. She brushed it fifty times, swept it forward over her shoulders, pushed it back, tied it with a barrette, and finally pulled it back in a ponytail. She thought about her bangs, if she should try parting them a different way; but when she pushed them around, no matter what she tried they just looked fluffy and shapeless, so she combed them with her fingers back to the way they always were.

She couldn't seem to sit still, so she wandered back into the living room, then picked up the bolt and examined it. Double-plait bolts were so *odd* looking, she couldn't quite figure out whose idea they had been. They all came with a standard curve to the body of the bolt, which made them incredibly specialized; surely no one would think of designing anything that would need a bolt like this unless the bolt already existed, so it wasn't as if they'd been created to fill a specific need.

What if he'd already found one? Could he have found one since eleven o'clock the night before? That seemed unlikely. She tried to imagine what he would say when she presented the bolt to him. Would he be grateful? Would he be impressed with her dedication? Maybe he'd just be relieved that whatever it was he needed the bolt for would finally be finished. Maybe he'd tell her all about what it was. If he didn't tell her, maybe she should ask, to show that she was interested. She looked in the mirror and smiled, trying to find the shape or look that was most becoming to her face. "You really don't owe me anything," she said quietly, modestly, to her reflection. "I could tell this was important to you, so I thought it was a good idea to rush. Oh, no, I couldn't possibly take any money. ...Dinner? Well... Gosh, this is so unexpected..."

She thought seriously, for a moment or two, about tying a bow around it and putting it in a little box. It seemed like a great, fun idea for about three seconds, and then she suddenly realized that it was a crazy idea and that if she did it, he would think she was insane. She'd probably look like she worked in a hardware store out of a simple love of hardware, which was nothing like the case.

The clock told her that it was eight past seven. She needed to get going. She looked all over her kitchen table for Drake Mallard's address and phone number, finally found it under a book of local street maps, and remembered that she hadn't written out her directions yet. Thank goodness, he lived on a street that was only about twenty minutes' walk away from her! It was so coincidental that it seemed almost preordained.

She grabbed the bolt, her bag, and a jacket, and with her heart thudding in her chest, she scurried out the door.

***

The month of September was not generally among Gosalyn Mallard's favourite months, for various reasons, but it did have a few things going for it. Baseball and soccer were both in full season, which was a plus since it meant there was usually *something* on TV, and even the obvious downside - returning to school - was a little offset by getting to catch up with some friends who you usually lost touch with over the summer.

etc...

Penultimate Authors Notes

Bum-bum-bummmmmm!

There will be only one chapter after this one. I actually have a deleted scene that would have gone in the previous chapter and I was going to post it and forgot, I also forgot to reference it in the notes. I can go back and edit them though, I guess, can't I? Shall do. Perhaps post the scene in question next week. Meanwhile: TWC1, Act 3, Scene 1!

***

References, etc:

- "Yoink." "Yoink?!" comes directly from "The Simpsons", which I find I cannot keep from quoting constantly in my day-to-day life, so it's not only in my fics that it pops up all the time.
- It's not clear, but if you have seen "Reboot", the way DW says "Megavolt." at the beginning of this chapter should be read in exactly the same way that Bob says "Megabyte." in that show. I have been wanting to make that reference for YEARS.
- Obviously this chapter refers heavily to "Clash Reunion" for all the reunion stuff.

I made up my mind that I wanted to write Megavolt mostly congenial in this scene. It seemed really funny to me. In particular once I got on the idea that he would be all "OMG DRAKE HIIII!" the idea cracked me up completely.

"You remember that guy Hamm? I've been wanting to catch up with *him* for a while now." For some reason I love this. ;D

The "where've you been all night?" "Um, at home asleep?" exchange between Megs and Beth was suggested during prereading of the very first draft of this fic, waaaaay back in 1995 I think it was, by Kim McFarland. She made a huge lot of other suggestions too and was very very kind to me over what was really, fundamentally, a pretty mediocre fic. I probably would have given up fanfic writing if not for her encouragement, so I owe her a LOT.

It's not exactly a reference, since it's not a direct line, but Megavolt's list of all the places he tried to track Beth down is inspired by a very similar bit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, recited by Roger after he tried to find Eddie Valiant. Of course in that one it was "But the liquor store guy... *he* knew." Heh.

In a crisis, I tend to go back and forth between having Gosalyn be very brave and proactive, and having her back off nervously. I think that's what she tends to do on the show, too, but I may overdo it (I like to have DW be the one who actually does the heroics, so Gos often just gets rescued); I interpret it as Gos getting all fired-up and going off without thinking, then realizing just how much danger she's in and not being able to think of a way out, so kind of fizzling a bit. If she WERE left to her own devices, for long enough, she'd probably get spitfirey again.

I had a lot of comments about how Drake is really, really hard on Beth here and perhaps too hard. ...I think I stand by how he speaks to her. Keep in mind that not only did she bring Megavolt there - even by accident - it was also due to her presence that he couldn't save Gosalyn right away. He needs a scapegoat and she's it. And yeah, he is mean, but I've seen him get pretty PO'd, even with people he DOES like. (He's said some pretty awful things to Gos and LP, not to mention Morgana.)

The triumphant return

So it took me a year. But I'm back with more chapter notes! And now you can do what I did, and reread all the older posts! ;D

So I left off at the end of Act II, and thus I finish the act up with Chapter 3. I am actually working on this fic again - though it is slow-going due to new family member - and I'm on the final chapter. I'm not going to say something like "I'm hoping to have it done by such-and-such date" or even just "soon" because I have no idea when I will be able to finish it. But I'm working on it anyway! In the meantime, here are the notes for Chapter 3 of Act II.

These are a lot shorter than the previous ones, mostly because a lot of what I could say here - character motivation, etc - I have already gone into. So enjoy! If I am able I'd like to try to update this blog once a week from here on out, but this is early, so we all know better than to expect any consistency from me. ^_~

References, etc:

- "The Simpsons" - Gosalyn's line about "getting reacquainted with my old friend television" comes from the show's "Rear Window" parody, after Bart breaks his leg and is confined to his room all summer long.
- "Moonlighting" - "Do birds bird? Do bees bee?", which is such a ridiculous line that I had to write it in. It also may be one of the only things David Addison has ever said that could be transferred to Gosalyn. XD
- The Music Man - Marion the Librarian
- Addams Family Values - This is where the line that serial killers "look just like everyone else" comes from.

There is a deleted scene to this chapter, believe it or don't. I write way too freaking much (duh) but although you can't tell, sometimes I actually DO read over what I've written and taken stuff out. I wrote a scene about Beth getting ready to go to see Drake, but although I liked it, it added nothing to the plot so I took it out. I'll post it here. SPECIAL BONUS CONTENT.

I don't know when "teacher's days" actually occur in the school year these days. I seem to remember them falling in September. Maybe I'm thinking of Back To School nights. :P Also I don't think they're called Teachers' Days but meh.

Is there even such a thing as truant officers now? Have they existed since, like, the 50s? :D I have a feeling not, but I like the thought that Gosalyn thinks they do since maybe she saw the idea on TV (like I did) and believes they're still around. *G*

The stuff with Gosalyn shouting is the clearest example I have of myself fleshing out what I had previously written, using the first as an outline. I think in that one Beth was, like, surprised by Gosalyn's lung power or something. You can almost use that as a stage direction. *lol* I decided to leave in the "and she's cute!" line, after some debate, justifying it by implying that Gosalyn may well be lying just to get Drake to come downstairs.

I thought it would be really hard to pull off, but in the end, I *like* seeing Beth through Gosalyn's POV in this scene. I think she's really in character, and Gos's take on her seems about what I would expect; she doesn't dislike her, she just has no real interest in her at all and finds her a little odd.

Also, I needed some kind of reason why Beth would want to babysit and why Gosalyn would put up with it, so the idea that she gets along decently with kids actually fits her character. She's intimidated by other adults, but relates okay to children.

Just in case you read between the lines and were wondering if you read it properly... well... if you kind of got the sense that Beth jumps to the conclusion that Drake and Launchpad are living together because they're... *living together*... yeah, I wrote that intentionally. Because honestly, as an adult, I couldn't think of a way that she wouldn't reach that conclusion. Meanwhile I had a bear of a time coming up with a way for her to be reassured it was NOT the case, since I also can't see any circumstance in which either Drake or LP would ever, EVER realize that someone would think that about them. *lol*

Launchpad's "I just crash here" line is pun intended, on my part that is. Not from him. Then again maybe "crash" is just naturally in his vocabulary. ^_~

I don't know where the "herding" trick Drake uses on Beth came from. It just seems to make sense - Beth wants to make sure she's not in anyone's way, so she naturally moves when they seem to be walking in her direction so that she's not blocking their path, or something.

Tiny bit of foreshadowing, I suppose, with Drake being surprised by how Beth can actually be useful. If circumstances had gone differently he would have revised his opinion of her by the end of this meeting; so naturally I had to make things harder on her and shove Megavolt into it so that he'd have an excuse to go on disliking her. Wheee! Character torture! :D

My favourite Gosalyn line in this fic is "I'm saving it all up for med school." (Is it egotistical to have a favourite line?)

I don't know why, but when it comes to writing Drake and Gosalyn there is nothing I like as much as writing their back-and-forths about something Gos has done. It's just FUN. :D


Aaaand that covers another chapter! And it only took me a year! Holy moley!

Sloggin' through the chapter notes...

Here's chapter two of act II, still on TWC1. I'm at least catching up to as much of it as I have written, now... :)

References etc:

-"The Simpsons" - "Boy, would my face have been red!" That's one of Homer's lines, see, so there's a Dan Castellaneta reference too! *G* I believe it's from "Homer's Enemy".
-Ummm... this chapter is essentially a continuation of the previous one, so... there's not really much else. :P

Oh, I really do love that grappling hook gag ^_^

Heh. I kind of like the way I play the Beth/LP stuff here. It's like one big sleight of hand trick, where first LP is focused on Beth... why? Because he wuvs her? Oh, uh, no, it's because she keeps asking about DW and LP isn't sure how to divert her attention. Then there's the entire rationalization about how he's NOT interested in her. I think I have sort of discovered a small handful of new readership with this rewrite, and they may actually NOT realize that the tide turns to LP/Beth. It's just been so taken for granted for so long that I'm enjoying it a little this way, not in a "mwahaha, I'm messing with heads!" way, but I quite like the idea that I can maybe have new fans who will enjoy the new, more gradual set-up I have planned, without knowing what's coming. :) Boy, that note got away from me! This was supposed to just say, simply, I just realized I'm kinda faking people out but perhaps with too much protestation. *G*

Not really sure how, precisely, this whole "social work" idea as an excuse for Drake's "actual" work came about. Nor am I sure how convincing it is, but it doesn't have to last much longer. ;)

I came up with the taxi stuff one day while walking from my car to my office (I park about a block away). I liked it, and rereading what I wrote now, I still like it. How much of it is because LP is a gentleman, and how much of it is because it's Beth, I'm not sure. We'll just have the lines blurred, I suppose.

Another similarity between myself and Beth: I cannot bear to let people give me money for something spontaneously. It makes me VERY uncomfortable.

"That's enough outta you, you big bully!" is *almost* a reference, since I'm kind of going back to Dead Duck in terms of Launchpad's inability to improvise dramatic dialogue on an appropriate scale. ("You'll never work in this town again!") The "big bully" part is probably proof he should've stopped. ;)

I always liked Megs stepping over the side of the roof in the original. I like how I rewrote it even more, though. "An interesting, yet brief, sound". Heh. The best part is, Dan Castellaneta has such a great repertoire of interesting sounds, I can dream he'd do that description justice. ^_^

The "recovery" of Darkwing is one of those moments that just fits better into a cartoon - I tried to shy away from "physical gags" and such in fanfic, since they don't translate well, but it's the kind of show Darkwing is so I can't quite avoid 'em completely. On the other hand, this is mild enough that it can be described reasonably well. It's just so hard to get cartoony visual gags into words - I'm sure most authors know just what I'm talking about, and most avoid them for the very same reason.

I don't think Darkwing's "Not awake?" line works. Sigh. I had trouble thinking of something and that doesn't quite fit as well as I'd hoped.

How obvious is it that Beth calls Drake by his full name, all the time, even in her head? It's like Jordan Catalano!

Poke at myself, for sticking Megs on a bunch of rooftops this time around for some reason. I think he spends like half the fic on a rooftop somewhere or other, and there are about three or four of them. I realized this was excessive, but had no better ideas (and I DID think - figuring out the timing and placement of, for instance, Beth's trip home and Megavolt's decision to try to follow her, took a while) so I just made fun of myself a bit. *G*

There's another joke that I felt was kinda nicely subtle as Megs counts the bolts again: his certainty that the bolts have multiplied, as if the number is in flux, and he might now have not only one extra but several.

The end!

Read Along With Zebbie!

I need to create a new tag, now that I have that nifty title. Yeesh, just... I am lame. :P Anyway though.

Act II begins with my second big Megavolt scene. This is actually sorta proof of how clueless I am when writing Megavolt. I get very, very lost because I don't have an internal Megs "voice" - I think I actually had more of one in high school, believe it or not - so I tend to just write in silliness and do a slightly stream-of-consciousness kind of bit. Stream-of-consciousness usually works for Megs. I also do enjoy throwing in really ridiculous phrases, like "extremely beautiful lady pigeons".

So that's our starting point. References for this chapter:
- "Not once; not twice; but thrice" - the Simpsons, an early episode with the Nuclear Plant softball ringers. Ahhh, Burns.

- "All he could do was stare at them, the bolts, his albatross" - Rime of the Ancient Mariner, in a really stupid I've-Never-Actually-Read-It kind of way. The reference is that the bolts are the albatross around his neck... and... verrrrry few people probably needed that explained. SIGH.

- Brief and totally not-clever reference to "Clash Reunion" since Beth thinks Megs's name is "Megawatt". SHE is not the one referencing the ep. I am because I stuck it in there for fans so they would think I was clever.

Nothin' much else. Unless you count referencing my earlier draft of this fic as a reference; I brought back the pigeon bit. Kind of. :) I don't know where the pigeon bit came from in the OV; I just thought it was funny. I made so much out of it, though, that when I was rewriting I felt it had to show up again. It's like an homage. ;P I actually didn't know quite how to fit it in there, either.

By the way, as of the writing of that scene I still am not at all sure what Megavolt is DOING. (I know now. Honest, I do.) Shhhh! Don't tell anyone! It's such sloppy writing!

"Poor pigeon" - as you can see, I couldn't bring myself to actually kill the dumb bird. Though, I leave it up to the reader to guess if the pigeon DW and LP see fly away is actually the same one Megs refers to in his POV scene. If so, it's not a pigeon that learns very quickly.

The "stealth" stuff is not a reference to anything. But I thought it was very, very funny... inside my head. Not sure it works quite as well if you're not me. But that's your loss. ^_^ Oh, and I couldn't resist an opportunity to take a potshot at one of my least favourite words of all time: "healthful". GUESS WHAT, THE WORD YOU WANT TO USE IS "HEALTHY" SO :P :P :P (Yes. I am in 8th grade.)

Please, please, please don't let me be the only person who thinks it's funny that Megavolt would mistake a grappling hook for a robotic spider, and take a liking to it. PLEASE.

And here we get to Beth's narrative, explaining - at least in part - why she fell for him. I kind of did that in my notes last time, but here's a version within the fic that I like a li'l bit better. Yay, good for me! Of course it's me being in love with words again. ;D Anyway, this topic will show up again in later fics, naturally, because Beth ruminates. But this gives us the gist. Also, right now she's really only sort of taken with him and intrigued by him; the real crush part will come a tiny bit later (though really, by the end of the fic, she's pretty gone).

The Launchpad and Beth sequence - the one that is within this chapter - was hard for me to write. Often when I write them they kind of ramble and have trouble getting to the point (probably because Beth has that trouble, and unlike my lack of a Megavolt voice, the Beth voice in my head is very very strong and likes to take over conversations), and this was no exception. I had a direction I wanted the conversation to go in, and moreover I had a direction I wanted the POV to go in; getting it there was hard. There seem to be a lot of things Beth doesn't want to directly address. :P

That's all for now! Lala! I thought I might get to chapter 2 tonight, but it's late and me want sleep. More later though - honest this time!

Notes On TWC1, Chapter 2

Humongous Author Notes take two! These are so huge that they took me six weeks to complete. Well... obviously not REALLY... but check those dates and arrive at your own conclusion!

Anyway, first the references and inspirations:

- "I gotta go to the can!" - Haunted Honeymoon
- "I'll make a note of that in my log" - Star Trek: First Contact
- "Her?" - Arrested Development (you'll only get it if you know AD, otherwise it's just a word. And if you do know AD, you'll also know why I used it twice.)
- "He sort of bought all we had..." - Beth's repetition of "Sort of" is inspired loosely by a scene in "NewsRadio" where Dave Nelson keeps saying "Well, apparently..."
- "These are the addresses and phone numbers of six different..." - A nod to Amanda Rohrssen's "The Other McCawber Girl", a scene which has not yet been publically released, but you will know it when you read it.

And in noteville:

The retail schedule I go over at the start here is based around some of my own in the past. Very few places I have worked ever had only one employee on shift at a time, but there have been a couple - usually in the morning - in very small, low-volume places.

Most of Henny's dialogue sounds best if you imagine it being spoken by Fran Drescher in her most irritating "Nanny"-esque voice. Oh I love Henny. ^_^

I had the WORST time coming up with stuff from Launchpad's perspective. Just for the record, there. I felt like every scene I wrote from him POV either over-explained things or left them too undetailed. It goes back to my previous characterizations notes on why I find him a little hard to write, I guess... I don't want to have him overthinking things, because I think he kind of does the opposite of that, but it's hard to really explain a situation without! Oh well. I don't know why I began this but the kitchen sequence basically gives the first chronological example of me writing LP stuck on - and pretty awful at - crosswords. It's the earliest time it happens in one of my fics but definitely not the first time I've written it... Though I must concede that I think a lot of the earlier times were in versions I later rewrote.

And still on the topic of writing for Launchpad, my attempts at writing him flirting are pretty pathetic. Then again I think he's not the greatest flirter in the world anyway. ;) It has to be just gentle enough so that Beth can convince herself that he's NOT flirting with her, but cute enough so that everyone else can tell that he is... or trying to, anyway.

I don't know how well Beth's feelings are portrayed here. I think I spell it out later, but Beth herself doesn't think of things entirely straightforwardly, so for anyone who wondered here's the straight dope: Beth really likes LP, but she is afraid of him, because he's "too cool" to be friends with her and she's afraid if she acts like she thinks they're real friends he'll get turned off by that and leave. On the other hand she wants to play it cool, too, so she tries to be casual. The "look for moles for me" is a product of that, which - once she thinks about it later - is WAY more intimate than she is actually comfortable being. Beth's whole relationship with Launchpad at this point is almost entirely conflicting on every point, in that she likes him but doesn't want to, is scared of him and also feels nicely put at ease by him, looks forward to seeing him and is terrified of his visits, and especially, feels both better and worse about herself after each time he comes in. She also can't make up her mind whether he really likes her or if he's just being friendly, which only makes her worse.

And while I'm spelling things out: Beth falls for Drake because he touches the back of her neck and tells her it's perfect. This is an unasked-for compliment and an unexpected intimacy that she misinterprets as kindness. With Launchpad she has her shields up; because Drake takes her by surprise, and because he looks more "attainable" than LP, she has no shields. The first rush of giddiness is addictive enough to overcome her better sense, and she lets herself fall for him.

Despite my maintaining that Launchpad is not openly interested in Beth at this stage, I couldn't resist writing things like him noticing that she smells nice. Because I am wacky like that! Don't boys always notice that kinda thing? :P

Once again - I am not sure that the interaction between LP and Beth feels right for a 'first story'. Even though they know each other already, I keep forgetting it's an introduction to Beth and I'm incredibly aware that this probably doesn't read like an intro story. It's because I've written in such a nastily circular way, and am in fact writing that way even more right now since I'm working on a "current" story about flashbacks. It really screws you up to write a story with scenes that take place in the "past" with a perspective on current events, and at the same time work on a "past" story that takes place at approximately the same time but has NO perspective on "current" stuff.

All the stuff about LP and women? Does not convey what I want it to. I mean, informationally it works - it's what I want it to say - but I can't manage it to sound like it really is coming from LP. Oh well. *sigh*

Jerky!Drake. This is actually the explanation for why Jerky!Drake remains a main character in many of the earlier fics, rather than just a standard use. I'm trying to set up why DW would not like Beth from the start, and continue to go by that opinion of her rather than just ignore her like everyone else does, or something. Because I'm sorry, but I am not going to be rewriting this series so that DW takes a liking to her... That was just never going to happen. XD

The description of Henny when she enters is directly from the very first picture anyone drew of Henny - which was by Lar deSouza and can still be found on many websites. I have my own interpretation of Beth and how she looks, but Henny's character design is exactly what Lar did from the start.

"You're talking about Megavolt" and the "lightbulb" over LP's head: no pun intended! Just a fortunate - and silly - accident. *G*

For the record, I don't think that "Zip it!" is a reference to anything... I just thought it sounded funny in my head and would be amusing to have several characters say it in one scene. I don't think I'll come back to it, at least not in this fic, since that would be overkill.

It's dawned on me just now some of what's missing in my writing Drake. I'm missing the drama and showmanship he puts into some of his little actions; I tend to replace it with snark, of which DW has plenty, but he's not so one-note as I write him. But I find snark easier to write, especially when he's in the mood I've placed him in during this scene, so the snark wins this round. XD Maybe I can make myself write in more drama in future fics, now that I've had this insight! Thank you, Blogspot.com, for showing me the way!

TWC 1 Chapter notes... chapter 1

If I can catch up on stuff like this, I'll be able to make notes with each chapter I post! So lemme see.

This doesn't correspond with the chapter 1 that's posted on ff.net, because I'm actually separating them a little bit differently for formatting on the website. You'll hopefully manage to figure it out, though, b/c I doubt very much people are going to go run off and open a copy of the fic to play along at home. ^_~

Anyway! I tend to put a buttload of notes at the end of my completed fics; I save 'em up for the finale, so to speak. That's good but what about stuff you wonder on when you're reading? You may not care as much as I do (I love author notes), so if you don't, skip alla this. *G* If I go a chapter at a time I'll have far less overwhelming notes though... that's a plus! Oh yes - this is also how I hope to list my inspirations and if there are any actual lines I've borrowed from a specific source (Cassie Claire made me nervous, even though in my adult life I've never "borrowed" on that level... still though... best to document, yes?)

So, chapter 1 of the Beginning :)

References/etc:
- Kids in the Hall: "Joe"'s reference to Mac & Cheese is loosely inspired by KITH. I no longer remember how, I just know that it was. If you get it, revel in it! Yay for KITH!
- Batman: Darkwing's best "I am the night" expression
- Firesign Theatre: Megavolt's line about "powerful gasoline and a shoeshine" etc is from Firesign's album "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers". *pimp, pimp* Firesign is, for anyone not familiar with them (which is probably a good chunk of my audience), a strange and extremely smart and literate comedy troupe. They will likely show up in more of my fics. ^_~
- Richard Feynman and Albert Einstein: have worked their way into Megavolt's discussion/argument with the large flashlight. I don't know that they had any theories that contradicted one another, though. I really just picked those two names at random.

General notes:
- I started writing the beginning of this rewrite in 2000. I made it a few paragraphs and found the action hard to write. I skipped forward a bit to try and pick up some momentum, got a few more paragraphs done, and completely lost it. It languished for years until I picked it up again recently and found it a tad bit easier. You can see the two different writing styles (my writing style changes, for better or for worse, rather noticeably every couple of years depending on how much writing I actually *do*. Since there were a good six years in between most of the sections, the change is major in spots). I am a lazy editor and just left it unless it really stank.

- Who is Joe? Nobody. I named him because, in my original (1995) version, my pre-reader got confused and thought it was Megavolt in the opening scene. That was due to my lousy writing, and I fixed it in that version, but was left with a need to really make this guy an individual, just to avoid confusion. I don't know much about Joe, except that he's kinda dumb, on the young side, and ultimately rather unlucky. *G*

- I generally treated the Original Version (henceforth referred to as OV) of the fic as an extended outline so far. Take the same basic format and general happenings and just add to it. Flesh out with better characterizations, a few more gags, and a slightly slower pace. It's funny to look at the OV next to this chapter especially because it really does read like a summary or something of the new version.

- Since this is a rewrite I think I have a problem with one of the major things this story is supposed to be about: introducing Beth as a new character. I have been writing her for so long, and so many people have already read other fics (if not this one) with her, that it's almost taken for granted for me that people know who she is. Her first scene (which is another one I started in 2000 and made it about three paragraphs into) is intended to introduce her in a slightly more personal, less rushed way than in the OV. I'm too close to the material to have any idea if it introduces her for the first time or if it just brings her into the story as if we're supposed to know her already. I think it's the latter. I've come back to try to rewrite it again and worried that I'm overdoing it instead, so I've opted to leave it the sort of subtle way it is now, and just go ahead and look lazy. I did realize that I didn't give her last name at all in the version on FF.net, so that's fixed. I need to work a good description of her in there somewhere too. Oy.

- Oh yes! And now we get treated to Beth's crazy relationship with her mother right off the bat, which probably confuses the reader about her personality if they don't already know Beth! Heh ^_^;; Also I hate writing accents. Especially Irish accents.

- I'm not going to pretend I'm utterly comfortable writing for Megavolt. But I enjoyed it in the OV - I still think he's one of the highlights - and although I'm probably sort of overthinking it now, I'm enjoying it here. I have come up with a few lines I've really liked, and the "giant Employee of the Month plaque" is one of them. :D

- Beth's morning experience with the shipment at Bindler's is based heavily on my own years of experience receiving shipment in various retail positions. Yeah it was all exciting at the first job when I was 19. It got less and less so afterwards. (Though there's still something to be said for opening boxes and finding out what's inside... It's like Christmas twice a week! Um but I digress) I never tried desperately to make conversation with the deliverymen, though, and they were all quite friendly for the most part. :) This scene is a plus though because it finally introduces us a bit more to the "real" Beth, the babble-fest who wants to like everyone (and wants even more to *be* liked).

- For anyone who has only read the FF.Net version of this, I suggest checking it on my website. I added a brief description of Beth (in terms of why she avoids mirrors) and I find it rather amusing, especially the part about the size of her head. XD

- The Feynmann/Einstein stuff came about because last year I read Richard Feynmann's memoirs (well, one of them) and really enjoyed it. When I was trying to think of a version of a deep and philosophical discussion that Megavolt might have, I thought something perhaps with Einstein and then picked Feynmann to counter him, even though I haven't seen any evidence that they were ever at odds. But they worked together so maybe they contradicted each other at some point...? Eh, it was just an excuse to toss Richard Feynmann into my fic. ;D Note how I am so lazy I cannot bother to make "duck" versions of either name.

- I found it very easy to write a cranky Drake. (Hmm wonder why. maybe because I always write him that way. 9_9) Contrarily I found it very hard to write LP in this scene. I had about three or four discarded tries of a POV from him before DW gets up, over-explaining his friendship with Beth; finally I decided to just let it go for a while longer, not in the interest of making it a surprise but just to try not to overexplain it. Which I proceed to do later, but some of it NEEDS explaining... kind of... damn I'm just wordy. :P One thing I did decide to do as I was developing the chapter was play down the relationship between LP and Beth. Originally it was going to be a little stronger, still without him quite realizing he had a crush on her, but definitely with him having a crush. I ultimately came to decide on a different track for that part of this story; it's really funny the way these things get away from you, huh? :)

- You and I both know that I have nothing in this story that is more Darkwing-esque than "Sidekick Ruins Photo Opportunity". ^_^

So you know how I said the notes would be less overwhelming if I did them on a chapter-by-chapter basis? That only works if I don't add a bunch of notes as I go because I have the extra space to do so. CRIPES. :P

Let me just toss one out here then

So yeah, I was going to update this on Monday. And before that I was going to update it last Thursday. Seriously! But then I did not, and in the end here we are and I'm like "must do NOW!"

I have at least three things I want to post on, but I'm only going to do one tonight. Since the timing for it is more or less apt (or it was when I first wanted to make the post), I'm going to do a characterization post on Gosalyn, since she made her first appearance in TWC1 with the chapter that I posted on 6/12.

So. Writing Gosalyn. I actually find it very difficult. :) Well, difficult under certain circumstances: specifically I have a lot of trouble writing Gos in group settings, because in those situations she is not one for insight or planning so much as a general sense of excitement over any adventure going on. And if there is no adventure what then? That's where I run into problems, so Gosalyn tends to tune people out a lot in my "group scenes". *G* On the other hand I love writing her in dialogue with Drake; that comes very naturally for some reason, they play off each other well in my head, I guess.

Gosalyn obviously has a lot of energy, and although she has a definite penchant for getting into trouble, she doesn't do it maliciously. With Gos it's like, hmm, let's compare her to Negaduck and say that both of them might like to see something blow up. But where Negaduck would want to blow it up so that it's destroyed, Gosalyn would just want to see it blow up for the pyrotechnics and stuff. It's not the destruction or anything bad, it's just the excitement of the moment that she loves. This is not entirely hard to write, because it lends itself to a sort of cheerful, exuberant delivery of odd suggestions that go in a general direction that many people would just not expect.

The main problem is that I don't like to write characters as just one-liners (or several-liners), I like to try to go into more depth and get inside their heads. The previous chapter was really hard for me in that way, because I found it very difficult to figure out what Gosalyn would think of Beth. Beth is not exciting or interesting, although (unlike with Drake) as long as she's not actively working against Gos I don't see Gos actually disliking her. Thinking she's boring, sure, but Gos might rebel a bit against authority but she only actually antagonizes someone if that person antagonizes her first. (Besides which, Beth has no air of authority whatsoever.) Having said that though, why should she let Beth into the house? I went with a general sense of curiosity and a short attention span.

So yeah. It's not that I feel like I don't understand Gosalyn... Generally I think I have a decent grasp of her character. The problem is mainly in that I find it tricky to write a ten-year-old, and in trying to convincingly relate her into the series as a whole person and not a cartoon character (been tricky for me for all the characters so far, eh? This is like my most-repeated line!). I think I will do better in later chapters; I'm generally mostly satisfied, I guess, with this chapter but I felt like I sort of shoe-horned certain aspects into where I wanted them to fit and then I had to awkwardly shift the POV over to Beth in a kind of weird way. So - later chapters and fics might work a little bit better.

Whoop-de-doo, Tarantula Town!

After ... I no longer remember how many weeks it's been now, I *finally* have managed to finish the last chapter of Act II of TWC1. Thank you lord. I had wanted to have it done by my trip two weeks ago but I just... well, I've been through it. ^_~ Once I got past a certain point it became a little easier and I'm just so glad to have finally posted it! I had to write it slightly out of order, regarding transitional scenes and such, so after I finished the last bit I had to go back and edit and rewrite. I ended up with my first official "deleted scene"! XD Something for the webpage, if I ever get it up and running.

When I was writing it I didn't like how some parts were turning out, but once I'd sewn it all together I reread those parts and they read the way I wanted them to after all. Go figure. Oh well: it's done! It's DONE! So now I will try to write a real content-laden post very soon! But first I had to shout with glee. ^_^

Characterization notes

Ugh, I have had writer's block the past couple of weeks. Yeah, I know, *again*. Well, in this case it's one of those things where I am not even thinking about writing as much so I can't pull myself together to DO it when I have the time. I did manage to outline my ideas for the last chapter of act II of TWC1, though.

Since the last stuff I posted (and really, practically the last stuff I worked on) was LP-heavy, this is a good time to ramble about my characterization of LP! (uh-huh, sure.) I've never made it any secret at all that I'm a big fan of LP's. Unfortunately that doesn't mean I'm able to write him or anything. *G* Out of all the characters of this show I think I've always been weakest at writing Launchpad... There are a few reasons for this, I've decided over the past few months.

A big reason is because of the disconnect between "Darkwing" Launchpad and "DuckTales" Launchpad. I mean essentially there really are two Launchpads, with the earlier one being the more active one and the later one being much more reduced in role and scope. LP was always comic relief and always kind of good-naturedly dumb, but he had a much more active role in "DuckTales". DWD's Launchpad is a more passive character, often there primarily to provide a punchline more than play an active role in the crimefighting. They definitely stepped outside of that limitation quite often - not only in eps like "Water Way to Go" when LP gets to be the main hero or stuff like that, but just in general at times LP contributed more. But ultimately the character was not the same as on "DuckTales", he was kind of domesticated.

Don't get me wrong; I don't care at all. :D But it made it harder for me to write him, especially with any real sense of personalitiy. My liking for LP didn't translate into deepening him or revitalizing him as a heroic type or anything, it kind of translated as me thinking he was a great guy and would be a great boyfriend (to be honest: I never wanted him to be MY boyfriend. I have Ryouga for that, thanks) and so I just wrote him as Mr. Great Boyfriend. Which is not really fair to LP because it just, ultimately further reduces him.

I also made the huuuuge, but understandable given the age I was in, mistake of injecting the early stories with a healthy dose of angst. Did I say "healthy"? I'm not sure that's the right word for it. ;D It's excessive. I was young. A lot of the stuff that I was writing about was the sort of thing actually going around in my social circles (at least the self-pity and emo stuff, if not the actual events) but that doesn't make it less annoying to read. *G* Somewhere after "The Bride Wore Black" even I was sick of it and I took a vow: I was not going to write ANY more angst if I could help it. Not unless it actually fit the story and character, in any case! And in the past 11 years I've pretty much stuck by that, good for me. :)

So in revisiting these early stories, I'm trying to stick to that vow again. (as we can see, I apparently have decided it's VERY necessary to the plot in AAE, as it's laid on thick and heavy.) I've wanted for a while to improve on my take on Launchpad - he deserves more than just "Beth's would-be boyfriend". I've never even given a fully satisfactory reason as to why he fell for her in the first place. Not only that, but he's barely even Darkwing's sidekick in these stories, so I want to get him at least back up to THAT status.

Which basically means reinventing how I see him, let alone how I write him. It was about six or so months ago that I started realizing I write him as a very, VERY passive character. I'm infrequently "in his head" and when I am, it's usually in response to something someone else is doing rather than him doing anything. So I gave him more action in "High, Dry, and Flooded" - more sidekick action in particular - which was a good start. This attempt at breaking out of the "passive" role also led to me surprising myself by writing his confession to Beth at the end of that story. In the five ore more years I had been planning that fic, that scene was NEVER in the outline. Then about two weeks before I wrote it, it popped into my head. Surprise! ;D And it was totally right, and I never saw it coming.

It's been similar attempts at getting "into his head" in TWC1, perhaps to varying degrees of success. This is sort of my big chance to not only give him a bit more depth, but to in fact decide just HOW I want to present him in these fics. I can essentially start over. I mean, I know it's not going to be very different from what I've been writing lately, but I can lay down a more concrete base to work with.

I want to give him a few more layers, and as with any other character I really care for (and feel for) that means I want him to have some low points too. I want him to get a little irritated, act a little thoughtlessly, generally be wrong some of the time. I do believe that Launchpad is a sweet guy who couldn't be mean if he were being paid to be so; doesn't mean he can't occasionally say or do the wrong thing without realizing it. I don't know exactly how all this will come out, but we'll see. :)

In terms of character traits... well, for one, I don't tend to go with people who say that they think LP is "smarter than he lets on". I'll agree that he seems a bit dimmer than he did on "DuckTales", but I'd rather just write somewhere in between there than speculate that maybe he plays it dumb to keep DW's ego happy. I don't see any evidence of that, I think they just tweaked the character for a show that was based more in comedy than DT had been. LP is... um... not a thinker. So what? I like 'em big and dumb. (Once again, we have Ryouga for evidence.) ^_~ Nah, but seriously, I tend to like characters the way they are - flaws and all. If a character I like has a negative trait I rarely see it as character assassination, unless I think it's too played up at that character's expense (like Joxer on "Xena: Warrior Princess", don't even get me STARTED).

The brief, cartoony, choppy feel of the early stories allowed for a certain suspension of disbelief as regards LP falling for Beth. We may never know WHY, exactly, but it happened and it's established and we'll just go with that, right? Fine... except that I don't write that way anymore. That's why in the end I need to flesh it out. I need to think of the characters as *characters* instead of shadows, and I need a reason why LP would fall for this girl, a girl who thinks of herself as invisible and does a good job of convincing the rest of the world of it, too. I've no doubt that he'd be friendly with her, start up a conversation, find her pleasant enough, but fall in love? Why?

I've got reasons, finally. I hope I'll eventually get to them. For now I'll say, in the course of TWC1, you may be wondering if he's actually falling for her yet. Nope. Not within this story. There may be a little more than he's letting on to himself... maybe... but right now they're both just forging a tenuous friendship. Look for developments in fics to come, however.... IF I ever manage to write 'em. :P

Why not post here?

I guess it can't hurt to post some of the fic in my blog. I just had a fairly productive twenty minutes or so where I wrote approximately the same amount that I wrote in, oh, let's guess about an hour the last time I tried to write. So yay! And I'm happier with it, so double-yay! It doesn't fix what I wrote before (which I'm still not happy with) but I'm willing to gloss over that right now.

I can't figure out if you can do cut-tags here in blogspot. Doesn't look that way. Well, I'm going to paste in what I wrote since hte last bit I posted at ff.net; so if you actually read this blog you get a sneaky preview! Luckykins. ;D (Or not. I think nobody reads this. But I like having a place I can ramble to and save my rambles, so it's good enough for grampa and good enough for me.) This will be loooong... and it's still only about half the chapter... ;_;

*************

It would be so much easier if he said hello first. She slowed as she approached, hoping he would notice her and she could pretend she hadn't noticed him and act surprised when he said something, but there was no such luck. Maybe she should just keep walking...

The idea of passing someone she knew on the street, *staring* at them, and walking right by them was so stupid and embarrassing that she took a deep breath and pushed right through her shyness. "Ha- hi!" she said, catching a little on the forced peppiness of her voice.

Launchpad started, which was embarrassing and awkward, and for the first split second that he looked at her she would swear he had no idea who she was and that was even worse. She remembered immediately why she preferred never to approach anyone. But a second later, recognition lit his entire face and he gave her a broad grin. "Hey, Beth! Long time no see!"

She laughed awkwardly, all the adrenalin that had allowed her to speak up a moment ago now draining into a kind of weak nervousness. "Heh, yeah, guess so. Um, sorry if I scared you, I just was walking home and I saw you and I thought it would be nice to say something..."

"No problemo," he said casually. That was not a phrase she heard many people say, and it made her smile. "I'm glad you did say somethin', I didn't even hear ya comin' up."

"Oh. Well good."

He looked past her, up towards the roof of the building behind her, for a moment and then back down at her. "You look different outside of Bindler's," he said thoughtfully.

"I... do?" She became self-conscious suddenly; maybe it was the lighting. "In a good way or a bad way?"

Launchpad tilted his head as if considering. "I dunno. Neither really, you just look more... I dunno, more real."

She wanted to ask again if that was good or bad, but that was the kind of question that usually drove guys up the wall (or so she'd heard), so she just smiled nervously instead. As ever, the pleasure she felt in talking to Launchpad was paired with an equally strong sense of guilt; the more she spoke to him, the more she felt like she was keeping him from something else, and she should really let him go and do the things he'd rather be doing. And yet if she didn't talk to him, the guilt didn't go away, it just mutated itself so that she felt guilty for not returning his kindness; he cared enough to talk to her and keep her company, and she was trying to ditch him for some reason. Either way, apparently, Beth was a total jerk in her own mind and since there was no winning, she just stayed where she was, felt uncomfortable, and enjoyed having someone to talk to.

Just now, he straighted up and nodded a little, as though he'd reached a decision. "I think it's in a good way," he said finally. She could feel her cheeks growing hot, and she looked at her feet; as she did, she noticed that Launchpad looked distinctly satisfied with himself somehow.

"Um, thanks," she said quietly. She wondered if she was supposed to return the compliment, decided that if she did it would sound phony, and made a mental note to herself to give him a spontaneous compliment as soon as she could work one in naturally. The conversation was lagging; she fumbled for a topic. Looking back up at him, she said, "Did you guys find the bolt you were looking for?"

Launchpad had been looking at the skyline again; as he dragged his eyes back down towards her, he said, "Huh? Oh, no, it's funny... apparently you guys are the only ones in the area who carry 'em."

Beth was surprised. "Really? Wow, there must have been a recall or something. Henny gets these deals with manufacturers to unload all their leftover stock at lower prices, see," she explained. "She's, um, she's really good at negotiations."

"I bet," Launchpad said in a low voice. Whatever he was thinking, Beth guessed it wasn't flattering, and she giggled. He winked at her, before checking out the rooftops again.

"I'm sorry, is there -" Beth began to turn around and check out whatever he was looking at, continuing, "Am I keeping you from something?"

"Oh, no way!" he said quickly, and reached for her shoulder, pulling her back to look at him. She was startled enough that she whirled back, and they stared at one another for a few seconds before both smiled sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that," he said.
"I just mean, uh, there's nothin' up there. Just... just the stars."

"Oh, you're looking at the stars?" She smiled; that was kind of romantic. Although when she looked over his head, the light pollution in St. Canard was so strong that she couldn't make out anything but streetlamps.

"Uh, kinda," he said, perhaps guessing what she was thinking. "Tryin' to, anyway." With all the speed of someone who was deliberately changing the subject, he said, "So that bolt! I think I'm gonna come in and put in a special order or somethin', if you guys think you could get any more."

"Oh, that's a good idea!" she said. An even better idea occurred to her then, an idea of the kind she rarely had: clever, subtle, and almost-but-not-quite devious. "In fact, I can put one in FOR you. But I'll do it in Mr. Mallard's name so that it'll come straight to him, since he's the one who needs the bolt."

"Hey, good thinkin'," Launchpad said, nodding.

Beth retrieved a pen and an old receipt from the pocket of her jacket, and held them at the ready. "I'll just need his phone number and full address, and I'll get this done the next time I'm at work." She looked up apologetically. "I can't get it delivered in less than five business days, though. I guess he kind of needs it sooner than that."

"Well, we'll keep lookin' around to see what comes up, but if that's the quickest we can get it, it's good enough for me." Launchpad rattled off an address and phone number, and Beth scribbled both down and shoved both paper and pen back into her pockets, feeling satisfied and even a little proud of herself. She knew that she was extremely unlikely to ever call Drake Mallard personally, but now, if she actually felt up to it, she *could*.

The fact that she'd accomplished this task lifted her spirits and made talking to Launchpad easier, somehow. "Well, I feel better now that *that's* taken care of," she said.

"That's real nice of you to keep DW in mind that way," Launchpad offered.

"Oh, you know, customers first." Emboldened by her recent success, she asked, "So, um, is Mister - Dra- Drake... Mallard... around?" That was the most awkward sentence ever spoken aloud, she thought, and wilted inside.

"Oh, Drake is, uh, he's grocery shoppin'," Launchpad answered.

"At... at ten in the evening?"

Launchpad cleared his throat. "Uh, well, we needed a few emergency things." He looked uncertain. "And I'm just out here, uh..."

"Looking at stars," she finished for him.

"Yeah. Well, no, not just that!" Looking uncertain, he said, "I'm actually... keepin' an eye on the car, too."

"Oh! Well, gosh, that's really nice of you!" She was starting to get tired, and still had a long walk ahead of her, but the chance for a possibility of seeing Drake again was so great that she had to at least consider staying. "So, is... is Mist- is he going to be coming back soon? Do you think?"

Launchpad looked just the tiniest bit lost, and it took him a moment to answer.

***

"For the last time, you single-minded simpleton, it's a *grappling hook*!" Darkwing shouted, dodging another blast of lightning. Megavolt seemed beyond listening by now, however; he wasn't even ranting about robots anymore, just taking aim with that zap-gun of his and shooting bolts in all directions.

Well, two could play at that game. Darkwing pulled out his gas gun, aimed by instinct, and fired. And only *then* remembered that it was broken, as the gun misfired and a cloud of purple gas began to leak out of the gun and surround him. He kicked it to the side, cursing everything from the gun to the bolt to that bubblehead at the hardware store who hadn't helped him at all; the gun had worked fine when he shot the grappling hook - why was there a problem now?!

Megavolt's attention was somehow ensnared by Darkwing's momentary equipment failure. "Ha! If that was supposed to be intimidating, I've gotta tell you, you need to rethink your strategy!" He giggled at that, though Darkwing didn't think it was a particularly impressive taunt.

He tried bluffing in response. "All part of a plan, Sparky, but the less you know about it, the better!"

Whether Megavolt would have bought it or not would never be known, however, since he apparently stopped paying attention at the name "Sparky". "Oooooh, YOU! *DON'T*! CALL! ME! THAT!!" The amount of power he was discharging went up considerably, and the rooftop began to look like it was housing a neon sign in the shape of an electrified rat.

Maybe the taunting hadn't been the best idea, Darkwing acknowledged as he hugged the edge of the rooftop, fleeing from Megavolt's blasts. He paused at the west side of the roof, sticking his arm over the side and waving it three times in what he hoped was as natural a way as possible. So, granted, this fight hadn't gone entirely as he'd envisioned it so far, but Darkwing was a master of improvisational fighting and this whole showdown could easily be salvaged. Darkwing would keep wearing him out, and meanwhile, Launchpad would be up here in just a few minutes to distract him and help take him down.

***

In fact, Darkwing would have been absolutely right in his expectations, if Launchpad had actually been following the plan. Instead, his sidekick's attention was increasingly focused on Beth; she kept asking stuff about Drake, and he was having more and more trouble steering the conversation away from the danger zone. Launchpad felt he was generally pretty good at not giving away anything important when it came to secret identities or that kind of thing, but Beth kept asking so *many* questions that he was having a little trouble coming up with answers.

"What department?" she asked, cocking her head. She looked so *intent*; he was so fascinated by how different she was from when she was at work, how much more *alive* she seemed, that he forgot to answer. "Launchpad? What department does Mr. Mallard work in?"

"Huh?" Shoot, another tough question.

"In his social work. Do you guys both work in the same department?"

"Oh, uh..." He coughed as a way to stall. "It's, work with, uh, whattaya call it. Troubled teens."

"Social outreach kind of thing?" Launchpad nodded; Beth's eyes were practically shining. "That's so noble!"

"Yeah," said Launchpad. "And, yeah, I work with him. For him, kinda." She didn't seem to notice; he felt the tiniest touch of disappointment at that, but decided that he needed to change the subject completely before she asked something even harder. "So... do you go out a lot?"

"Go out?" She seemed taken aback; her energy level fell noticeably. "You mean like, with... with other people?"

"Yeah," he said, surprised that he'd taken the conversation that way. Sure, he'd mentioned to DW that he'd been playing with the idea of asking her out, but he hadn't given it any thought beyond that. "Out, with people."

She gave a quick, odd laugh. "Um, no, generally speaking no I don't."

"Really? You're kiddin' me," he said, grinning. She got all fidgety and looked at her feet, rubbing her cheek a little and grinning a little, herself. "Well, maybe sometime I could -"

"You probably do a lot though, huh?" she said quickly, cutting him off.

He considered the question for a moment. "Well, kinda... Not as much as I used to, but I was thinkin' of-"

"What about Mr. Mallard?" she asked, interrupting him again. "Does he go out on a lot of dates, or... well, he's probably got a wife and everything, actually, right?"

"Who, DW? Nah, he's not married. Nothin' like that." The question had given him pause; how had they ended up on the subject of Drake *again*? It wasn't until Beth's eyes lit up as she answered that he began to understand.

"Oh... he's not married?" she said. Her voice was eager; there was no mistaking it.

So she had a thing for DW. Launchpad needed to just take a little moment to process that; he really hadn't seen that coming. It wasn't like it *mattered* - he didn't have his eye on her that way or anything, it was just...

Well, what was it? He wasn't sure. His interest in Beth was purely platonic, as cute as she was capable of being. She wasn't the type of girl he generally went after, but he liked flirting with her; he liked being the guy to make her smile, since he had a feeling there weren't many guys who took the time to do it. And he really *did* like her, anyway, but that didn't have anything to do with whether or not she was interested in DW.

He was losing his touch, that was it. It wasn't that Launchpad had ever thought of himself as a real ladies' man or anything, exactly, but he'd never had any problems lining up dates either. With most girls, they at least knew when he was flirting with them; Beth was the first one who seemed genuinely ignorant of it. And it wasn't that he wanted to string her along, but he was surprised to find that they weren't on the same page here after all. Now that he thought about it, it *had* been a while since he'd been out with a girl, even casually... There'd been lots of girls when he was younger, in Duckburg, but most of the ones he'd really liked he'd had to leave behind. Then things had started to move more quickly - he'd moved to St. Canard, taken up odd jobs, started working with DW, and dating just hadn't been a priority. It took a lot of energy, it seemed, and there weren't usually more than two or three dates, and then either he or the girl lost interest; lots of misunderstandings, or just boredom.

Beth was kind of an experiment, and also kind of an attempt to ease himself back into it; go out a few times with a friend, remember how you do it, then start working into meeting new girls and seeing what happens. And it was way better to go out with a friend you knew you liked being with than it was to just pick someone at random, right?

Except now that he thought about it, asking Beth out under those circumstances, flirting with her every time he saw her... it all felt a little dishonest. He felt like a heel. Better not to ask her out in case she took it the wrong way... He was probably lucky he hadn't already set that situation up, by mistake.

"Oh, gosh, what time is it?" Beth asked suddenly. Launchpad checked his watch - it was quarter to eleven - then showed it to her. "WOW, is it really that late? I'm sorry to keep you - I should have -"

"Hey, I'm the one who's waitin' here, remember?" he interrupted, chuckling. "Calm down. It's more like I'm the one keepin' you."

She half-smiled. "It's not like that at all," she said; it was hard to tell if she was talking to him, or to herself, but she relaxed a little. "Well, I should go. I'm starving, and I have a long walk ahead of me."

Something in that sentence made him uneasy, but Launchpad tried not to show it. "Then go get somethin' to eat, an' I'll see ya later. Thanks for sayin' hi."

"Thanks for... answering," she said feebly. Her smile was distinctly nervous now, and she started past him down the sidewalk. "I'll see you. Um, probably. Right?"

"Yeah," he said, a little distractedly. It hit him belatedly what was bothering him about what she'd said. A long walk home... "How long is long?" he asked as she was walking away.

"What?" She turned back to him, and when he repeated the question, she blinked and then understood. "Oh - home? Um, about twenty minutes. So it's really not that bad, I'm just hungry, and you know how it is when you really want to *be* somewhere, right?"

"Yeah, but..." The direction she was headed in one a bad one. Launchpad had a pretty good sense of the better and worse parts of the city, and another half mile or so that way was definitely one of the worse. "Are you - you're just gonna walk?"

Beth cocked her head. "Well, yeah." She caught on a moment later, and fished through her handbag. "Oh! Oh, it's okay. I walk home all the time. I-" She paused, rummaging, then came up with a little spray can. "I have pepper spray." It had taken her a long time to find it, tucked away in her handbag. Her incredibly conspicuous handbag.

Launchpad had a sudden, vivid mental picture of Beth getting mugged. It was a horrible picture. His stomach twisted a little. "Look, I'm gonna..." He stopped. What was he going to do? Walk her home? That wasn't an option right now. With that thought as a trigger to remind him, he looked up briefly at the rooftop, then back down to Beth. He could *not* let this woman walk home alone.

She was watching him quizzically. A moment later the proverbial lightbulb went off over his head, and he dug into his pocket. "Okay. I think I got enough for a cab."

Beth came rushing back towards him, shaking her head and her hands. "Oh no, oh gosh, no no no. Please don't."

"Yeah. I'm insistin'."

"No! I can't take-" He stopped her, and forced the money into her hands. She held onto it but frowned. "I-I can afford a cab myself," she said quietly.

"Okay. Then you can pay me back later." She started to argue again, and he cut her off. "C'mon. Do me a favour, Beth." He grinned, what he hoped was appealingly, and she softened. A huge weight lifted off his chest when she nodded her consent. "Great. No rush on payin' me back, either. I'll see ya real soon."

Beth dropped her hands, cupping the money he'd just given her, and gave that half-smile again. "I'll have the money for you then." She took a step backwards, turned to go, and then turned back. "Um... Thanks."

"No problemo!"

She turned again, took two more steps, and then turned back beseechingly. "Tell Mr. Mallard 'hi' for me?"

Launchpad smiled and nodded, and what he felt was oddly melancholy. "Will do." Beth waved, and he waved back, and then she was halfway down the block, and then she had turned a corner.

He did wish he could have walked her home. But he was technically on the job, and there was DW's plan to consider... His eyes widened. "Uh-oh." Launchpad turned his head up to the rooftop, in time to see Darkwing hanging half over the edge, waving both arms frantically.

"LAUNCHPAAAAD!" he yelled. Then he disappeared - apparently pulled backwards - and there was quite a lot of light.

"*Uh-oh,*" Launchpad repeated, and raced across the street.

Whiiiine. I hate writer's block. :P

Geez. I just had to log in three times, I kid you not.

So I set myself a goal that I would have Act II of TWC1 done by April 15th, and when I set it it seemed entirely feasible. Then all of a sudden, THE WRITER'S BLOCK GOT ME and now... oh lord. I don't think I had worked on it for about two weeks. I have to finish the second chapter (which is maaaaybe halfway done) and then do the entire scene at the house and I just, every time I think about it I get sweaty.

So don't think about it, right? Because obviously that's what's giving me the block, right? I would think so too but I don't seem to be able to easily write much of ANYthing! Argh! Sadness! I'm just trying to do it as I go and it's not coming out.

I did just sit down and force myself to do a bit, and I don't like it. I'll probably be slightly more okay with it tomorrow or whenever I manage to re-read it... I just wish I liked it more NOW. Usually I'm at least mostly satisfied with it. It's introspective stuff and it just kind of goes from moderately awkward dialogue into several paragraphs of unfocused internal narrative and... there's no flow. FLOW IS IMPORTANT. Flow is NECESSARY. I love my flow. :(

Oh well. Maybe once I force a little more, I'll get the floodgates back open and I'll be able to at least finish chapter 2 this weekend. I'd like to get all of Act II done before I go back to AAE, but we'll see what happens; if I switch back after chapter 2 then AAE might end up being the easier one to work on. We'll see. I was finding the flashbacks verrry intimidating. Oh, I am just not in a writing headspace right now. :(

Begin at the Beginning, part two

Well, now... I don't think I've written anything since my last entry, but since I'm still sort of focusing on TWC1's rewrite, I think it's a good time to write about it some more.

So. Characters. To start with I'll say that my style of writing is very character-based; I like to write about why characters do things, feel a certain way, behave or act in a particular style. I like to explain actions. The end result of this is that when I write fanfic for most shows (or whatever I'm writing for), nothing much happens; you might get an insight but you're not going to get a lot of development.*lol*

I'm going to digress for a moment and share my theory on fanfiction: I think most people - not all, but most - write fanfic when there is something they want to see in a series that they aren't getting from the series itself. That might be a particular pairing, a particular mood, a use of a specific character, etc. Some people like to write darker versions of DWD, some really like a character and create a character to pair them with (...ahem. *looks guilty*). There ARE writers who just like a series and want to write their own episodes or whatever and I always admire those people. I discovered that I am more likely to write fic when there's something I want to change and/or see; if I'm enjoying what I'm being given, most of the time I won't even *read* fic, let alone write it. When I do, it's the speculative "nothing happens" fic I spoke of. SO! There's my digression. :)

Anyway, what I guess I wanted to "change" with TWC was not so much a change as an addition, ie the obvious one, Beth. And yeah, you can tell that this was mostly just a matter of liking the series and kind of wanting to be "in" it more, and Beth was a character I could sort of slide right on in there, have the characters react to her, and become invested in the series. I went through this already, but I swear, I *never* thought of her as a representation of myself. I already explained all that in an earlier post, though, so I won't go into it again. ^_^ To tie this back into the second paragraph: I will make the admission that the ideal fic for me is one where almost nothing happens, except maybe some people have a lot of deep conversations about things in their life. And at the end maybe they kiss (or, if that's inappropriate for the characters in question, they don't). *G* That's an oversimplification and a poke at me, all in one! But because I focus on characters, focussing on *plot* is very, very hard for me at times.

Having said that... I thought I'd talk a little bit about my take on the characters, as they are in the beginning of the series.

To start with, there aren't really any major characters on DWD that I don't like. Ironically, I adore Honker; he's one of my favourites. And I almost never use him, probably because Beth usually fills the role he usually filled (the brainy awkward one... the one "nerding it up" to quote the Simpsons, as I so often do). But I don't have any characters who have been in more than three episodes that I don't really like, and pretty much NO characters who were in more than one episode that I actually *dislike*. I like 'em all as they are, more or less, which again is par for the course for me: if I like a character I usually am faithful to their portrayal on the series, because I figure if I wanted something about them changed then I wouldn't be such a fan of the character. Doesn't mean I don't want them to grow, I just want to acknowledge who they are and what I *like* about them that way. (Um... in this case I'm actually thinking specifically of "Xena", not DWD, when it comes to growth and changes. For the record.)

But I have a little trouble writing the characters for Darkwing, because they are *not* deep characters, they are cartoons, and were always written as such. To add a lot of depth makes them more serious and erases some of the fundamental simplicity of their characters. They're two-dimensional because that's how characters usually are on kids' programs, and it doesn't mean they're badly done or not realistic, but it does make it hard to write a fanfic that is terrifically character-driven because... well, because you just can't write a fic about a character and only show one or two personality traits, as the series often did, and have that character be relatable.

The end result of this was that, in the original version of TWC1 (and subsequent fics), Drake is... um... not terribly likeable. I love Drake; I love that he can be an arrogant jerk, and I stand by my belief that he makes snap judgements of people, those judgements are usually (8 times out of 10) more negative than they should be, and he definitely thinks he is smarter than most people. He also has the patience of a gnat. But if that's all you present of someone in a fic written from their POV, how do you justify it? If you don't, if you can't, you're not writing a character who is believeable and you're not writing a character who is likeable.

I had the fundamental problem in the first version of this fic that I was certain Drake should NOT like Beth. I've tweaked my portrayal of Beth to give a few good reasons why he would not (reasons I tried to sort of portray early on, but wasn't really strong enough in my characterizations to get it out there) - mainly that she is awkward and, unwittingly, a hindrance to him. But those reasons aren't really strong enough to carry him out-and-out DISliking her and still not make him look like a creep.

The thing about Drake is that he's pretty certain he's always right - or, at least, in many situations and at many times he's certain of that. There are exceptions; he'll acknowledge when he has no idea what's going on, he admits that people know more than he does about certain things, and of course there's the old ego-shattering that happens fairly frequently when DW goes from puffed-up ego to punctured-balloon ego. *G* But in general, he's the kind of guy who makes a habit out of taking in his surroundings, interpreting them, and refusing to listen to anyone else's take on it. When he thinks he is an expert at something, he's totally confident in that expertise.

(Sidenote: general cartoon inconsistencies taken into account, I'm mainly talking about how *I* prefer to write DW. YMMV and I believe any given episode can provide evidence to contradict my interpretation; but then as I've said, I'm looking for chances to write a fully-rounded version of the character and this is how I'm piecing him together.)

I like writing DW as fairly competent, more than half of the time. The episodes go back and forth with this, sometimes he really knows what he's doing and sometimes he's bumbling through a case. I definitely like a good gag about DW making a dumb mistake - particularly if it's actually funny, heh - but some episodes go waaaay beyond what I'm comfortable with and it makes you wonder why he still has all his limbs intact. I like to see a vigilante who mostly knows what he's doing, within limits. DW limits himself, of course, but I also enjoy the idea that some of his ego comes from a well-deserved confidence in his ability. DW believes his own press -he has to, since he's the one writing it - and a majority of the time he lives up to it. So I like to show him succeeding, having moments of greatness, perhaps tripping himself up in the process but ultimately not only coming out on top but figuring out how to come out on top. I'm not going to necessarily be consistent in it; I think part of DW's appeal is that he's not perfect, after all. But I would rather see him know what he's doing than luck into something and I don't think I'm alone there.

These two things align into Drake's initial reaction to Beth. He is competent enough to recognize what he interprets as incompetence in Beth; he is irritated with anything that does not provide him quickly with something he wants; he is impatient. He also believes in his own *right* to be annoyed with anything that's sort of... standing in his way, I guess; the fact that he's in a bad mood the morning/afternoon that he meets her doesn't change anything. To Drake, it is not a bad thing to judge someone quickly, it's perhaps a necessity since you have to trust your instincts on people if you're going to fight crime. Nor does it occur to him that someone's feelings could be hurt by his being snide; I think that often he's used to most of his comments going over peoples' heads. But this is a tricky balance to write properly, because you have to set up that the character doesn't think it's a bad thing to dislike this other character, you have to give the character's totally (within their own mind) reasonable explanations, and you have to also just cross your fingers and hope that the audience will not AGREE with the character's assessment of the other character.

Last note for this entry: I've developed, over the years, a tendency to write Drake as a sort of cynical crank. This has moved away from the TV series. It started because I was trying to find a middle ground with him for Beth, and that became something where he would be cranky around her but like her underneath it, and it's sort of gotten to a point where if something isn't the kind of thing he's directly interested in, he won't even fake an interest. Not that he will tune it out completely, just that he'll view it with a kind of resigned indifference, even get annoyed if he's asked to pay too much attention to it. Drake lives with a certain element of expectations - one of which is that HE will always be the center of attention - and he will not alter those expectations. So I don't mean to imply that I think the way I write DW is dead-on canon, though I do *try* to make him as close as I can to the Drake of the TV series. Because I love that Drake. But my writing for him has evolved over the past decade and I'm in a pattern now that I don't think I can really escape. Oh well. :) I like my Drake, too. ^_~

Begin at the Beginning

Rewriting the Webfoot Chronicles.

Hm. There's so much I could talk about with this that I don't know where to start.

I guess the first question to answer - not that all that many people are likely asking it, but you know, just *rambling* here - is "Why?" That eternal question, why. Much like "Goobers or Raisinettes?" in which case the answer is OBVIOUSLY Goobers, because Raisinettes = UGH, but who actually eats either of those candies at the movies anyway? Junior Mints is clearly the only option.

Anyway. WHY rewrite the Chronicles? WHY revisit a bunch of stories I wrote in 1994? A bunch of fics that have been online almost as long as the Internet itself has been active? I mean, the question is why bother: everyone who is ever going to has read these fics and it's not as if the fact that they're shoddily written and full of cliches has turned people away from reading the later stories. Well... let me put that another way. It's not as if the fact that they're shoddily written and full of cliches has turned everyone away. ;)

The reason though is because I just... well, I realize that the stories are up in numerous places where I cannot access them and therefore cannot CHANGE them. They're up at the DAFT Archives, for example, and those versions are going to be there potentially forever. And I think in the long run those are going to be the "definitive" versions and I don't think I can change that.

But I, in all honesty, cannot reread those stories. Which is too bad, because sometimes I need to go back for research purposes and sometimes I just plain want to reread my own work because yes, I am something of an egotist, and when I read something I want it to be *good*. And - see previous egotist comment - I know I can write better than that now. I know I can write things that I enjoy rereading, because I've seen it. So it BOTHERS me. If these were fics I was no longer interested in, I could just turn aside and be a little embarrassed, but I'm still atively writing the Webfoot series and it pokes at me that the first few - especially the first three - are so... well, I guess the right word is "immature".

I have the excuse of youth when I wrote those fics. I was only 16 when I wrote the first set, really everything up through the first seven or eight - I was so darned prolific then it's astounding in retrospect but it also shows in the tone of the fics. Because they feel rushed - you know they do. You can tell I wrote them in, like, two weeks each. (Sometimes less.) Anyway, I don't really mean to imply that all sixteen-year-olds are bad writers, because like at any age it varies tremendously, but I am proud enough of myself to say that I have developed extensively as a writer since then. Could I be pro? Good God no, but I think I have learned to better craft a story, slow down, make things mean a little more and that's just a good thing all around. And yes I'm rambly, as I am right now, but usually I write so slowly these days that I can rein myself in. ;)

So: I've gone all around and I have not really actually answered the question. The question is: Why bother to rewrite these, when enough time has passed, enough people are still interested in reading (and are understanding about the reasons why the earlier fics suck)?

Because I can, I guess.

The nice thing about the originals is that each one serves as a highly functional outline for the new version. So far, with the first one, I've been able to keep almost every single plot point from the original and just expand on it, and add a few new scenes. It's a relief to know where I'm going and not have to figure out nearly as much. You know, I started the first scene of the first fic's rewrite back in 2000. It took me SEVEN YEARS to finish it - just that scene. I'm hoping to have the first fic finished by the end of summer (the end of spring would be even nicer) but who knows if I'll ever even start to rewrite the second. Well, as long as my momentum on these fics holds up, I hope I'll continue to both rewrite and just - write new ones.

R.