Sloggin' through the chapter notes...

Here's chapter two of act II, still on TWC1. I'm at least catching up to as much of it as I have written, now... :)

References etc:

-"The Simpsons" - "Boy, would my face have been red!" That's one of Homer's lines, see, so there's a Dan Castellaneta reference too! *G* I believe it's from "Homer's Enemy".
-Ummm... this chapter is essentially a continuation of the previous one, so... there's not really much else. :P

Oh, I really do love that grappling hook gag ^_^

Heh. I kind of like the way I play the Beth/LP stuff here. It's like one big sleight of hand trick, where first LP is focused on Beth... why? Because he wuvs her? Oh, uh, no, it's because she keeps asking about DW and LP isn't sure how to divert her attention. Then there's the entire rationalization about how he's NOT interested in her. I think I have sort of discovered a small handful of new readership with this rewrite, and they may actually NOT realize that the tide turns to LP/Beth. It's just been so taken for granted for so long that I'm enjoying it a little this way, not in a "mwahaha, I'm messing with heads!" way, but I quite like the idea that I can maybe have new fans who will enjoy the new, more gradual set-up I have planned, without knowing what's coming. :) Boy, that note got away from me! This was supposed to just say, simply, I just realized I'm kinda faking people out but perhaps with too much protestation. *G*

Not really sure how, precisely, this whole "social work" idea as an excuse for Drake's "actual" work came about. Nor am I sure how convincing it is, but it doesn't have to last much longer. ;)

I came up with the taxi stuff one day while walking from my car to my office (I park about a block away). I liked it, and rereading what I wrote now, I still like it. How much of it is because LP is a gentleman, and how much of it is because it's Beth, I'm not sure. We'll just have the lines blurred, I suppose.

Another similarity between myself and Beth: I cannot bear to let people give me money for something spontaneously. It makes me VERY uncomfortable.

"That's enough outta you, you big bully!" is *almost* a reference, since I'm kind of going back to Dead Duck in terms of Launchpad's inability to improvise dramatic dialogue on an appropriate scale. ("You'll never work in this town again!") The "big bully" part is probably proof he should've stopped. ;)

I always liked Megs stepping over the side of the roof in the original. I like how I rewrote it even more, though. "An interesting, yet brief, sound". Heh. The best part is, Dan Castellaneta has such a great repertoire of interesting sounds, I can dream he'd do that description justice. ^_^

The "recovery" of Darkwing is one of those moments that just fits better into a cartoon - I tried to shy away from "physical gags" and such in fanfic, since they don't translate well, but it's the kind of show Darkwing is so I can't quite avoid 'em completely. On the other hand, this is mild enough that it can be described reasonably well. It's just so hard to get cartoony visual gags into words - I'm sure most authors know just what I'm talking about, and most avoid them for the very same reason.

I don't think Darkwing's "Not awake?" line works. Sigh. I had trouble thinking of something and that doesn't quite fit as well as I'd hoped.

How obvious is it that Beth calls Drake by his full name, all the time, even in her head? It's like Jordan Catalano!

Poke at myself, for sticking Megs on a bunch of rooftops this time around for some reason. I think he spends like half the fic on a rooftop somewhere or other, and there are about three or four of them. I realized this was excessive, but had no better ideas (and I DID think - figuring out the timing and placement of, for instance, Beth's trip home and Megavolt's decision to try to follow her, took a while) so I just made fun of myself a bit. *G*

There's another joke that I felt was kinda nicely subtle as Megs counts the bolts again: his certainty that the bolts have multiplied, as if the number is in flux, and he might now have not only one extra but several.

The end!

Read Along With Zebbie!

I need to create a new tag, now that I have that nifty title. Yeesh, just... I am lame. :P Anyway though.

Act II begins with my second big Megavolt scene. This is actually sorta proof of how clueless I am when writing Megavolt. I get very, very lost because I don't have an internal Megs "voice" - I think I actually had more of one in high school, believe it or not - so I tend to just write in silliness and do a slightly stream-of-consciousness kind of bit. Stream-of-consciousness usually works for Megs. I also do enjoy throwing in really ridiculous phrases, like "extremely beautiful lady pigeons".

So that's our starting point. References for this chapter:
- "Not once; not twice; but thrice" - the Simpsons, an early episode with the Nuclear Plant softball ringers. Ahhh, Burns.

- "All he could do was stare at them, the bolts, his albatross" - Rime of the Ancient Mariner, in a really stupid I've-Never-Actually-Read-It kind of way. The reference is that the bolts are the albatross around his neck... and... verrrrry few people probably needed that explained. SIGH.

- Brief and totally not-clever reference to "Clash Reunion" since Beth thinks Megs's name is "Megawatt". SHE is not the one referencing the ep. I am because I stuck it in there for fans so they would think I was clever.

Nothin' much else. Unless you count referencing my earlier draft of this fic as a reference; I brought back the pigeon bit. Kind of. :) I don't know where the pigeon bit came from in the OV; I just thought it was funny. I made so much out of it, though, that when I was rewriting I felt it had to show up again. It's like an homage. ;P I actually didn't know quite how to fit it in there, either.

By the way, as of the writing of that scene I still am not at all sure what Megavolt is DOING. (I know now. Honest, I do.) Shhhh! Don't tell anyone! It's such sloppy writing!

"Poor pigeon" - as you can see, I couldn't bring myself to actually kill the dumb bird. Though, I leave it up to the reader to guess if the pigeon DW and LP see fly away is actually the same one Megs refers to in his POV scene. If so, it's not a pigeon that learns very quickly.

The "stealth" stuff is not a reference to anything. But I thought it was very, very funny... inside my head. Not sure it works quite as well if you're not me. But that's your loss. ^_^ Oh, and I couldn't resist an opportunity to take a potshot at one of my least favourite words of all time: "healthful". GUESS WHAT, THE WORD YOU WANT TO USE IS "HEALTHY" SO :P :P :P (Yes. I am in 8th grade.)

Please, please, please don't let me be the only person who thinks it's funny that Megavolt would mistake a grappling hook for a robotic spider, and take a liking to it. PLEASE.

And here we get to Beth's narrative, explaining - at least in part - why she fell for him. I kind of did that in my notes last time, but here's a version within the fic that I like a li'l bit better. Yay, good for me! Of course it's me being in love with words again. ;D Anyway, this topic will show up again in later fics, naturally, because Beth ruminates. But this gives us the gist. Also, right now she's really only sort of taken with him and intrigued by him; the real crush part will come a tiny bit later (though really, by the end of the fic, she's pretty gone).

The Launchpad and Beth sequence - the one that is within this chapter - was hard for me to write. Often when I write them they kind of ramble and have trouble getting to the point (probably because Beth has that trouble, and unlike my lack of a Megavolt voice, the Beth voice in my head is very very strong and likes to take over conversations), and this was no exception. I had a direction I wanted the conversation to go in, and moreover I had a direction I wanted the POV to go in; getting it there was hard. There seem to be a lot of things Beth doesn't want to directly address. :P

That's all for now! Lala! I thought I might get to chapter 2 tonight, but it's late and me want sleep. More later though - honest this time!

Boo on me!

Yeah I keep saying I'm going to post more often, don't I? Okay, here's the deal this time around. I have, for the past three or so weeks, just not been writing. It's not even writer's block, it's just like a general indifference. Oh, I intend to write while I'm not at home. Then I get home and it's like "Naaaahhhh, not tonight."

Well, tonight I forced myself to finish a chapter of "All About Elizabeth" that had been sitting in near-completion for about three weeks (seriously, since the middle of August) and get that done, and since I don't feel like starting the second-to-last chapter of "Double-Plait Bolt" right yet I'm going to do the note-thing instead. The reason I put that off is because I am usually coding it for my website at the same time (let me at some point go into the sheer futility of this exercise, but not now) and I'm lazy about that. :P

Anyway though! Stay tuned directly for some (surprisingly short this time, I think) notes on Act II of "Double-Plait Bolt"'s rewrite!

Notes On TWC1, Chapter 2

Humongous Author Notes take two! These are so huge that they took me six weeks to complete. Well... obviously not REALLY... but check those dates and arrive at your own conclusion!

Anyway, first the references and inspirations:

- "I gotta go to the can!" - Haunted Honeymoon
- "I'll make a note of that in my log" - Star Trek: First Contact
- "Her?" - Arrested Development (you'll only get it if you know AD, otherwise it's just a word. And if you do know AD, you'll also know why I used it twice.)
- "He sort of bought all we had..." - Beth's repetition of "Sort of" is inspired loosely by a scene in "NewsRadio" where Dave Nelson keeps saying "Well, apparently..."
- "These are the addresses and phone numbers of six different..." - A nod to Amanda Rohrssen's "The Other McCawber Girl", a scene which has not yet been publically released, but you will know it when you read it.

And in noteville:

The retail schedule I go over at the start here is based around some of my own in the past. Very few places I have worked ever had only one employee on shift at a time, but there have been a couple - usually in the morning - in very small, low-volume places.

Most of Henny's dialogue sounds best if you imagine it being spoken by Fran Drescher in her most irritating "Nanny"-esque voice. Oh I love Henny. ^_^

I had the WORST time coming up with stuff from Launchpad's perspective. Just for the record, there. I felt like every scene I wrote from him POV either over-explained things or left them too undetailed. It goes back to my previous characterizations notes on why I find him a little hard to write, I guess... I don't want to have him overthinking things, because I think he kind of does the opposite of that, but it's hard to really explain a situation without! Oh well. I don't know why I began this but the kitchen sequence basically gives the first chronological example of me writing LP stuck on - and pretty awful at - crosswords. It's the earliest time it happens in one of my fics but definitely not the first time I've written it... Though I must concede that I think a lot of the earlier times were in versions I later rewrote.

And still on the topic of writing for Launchpad, my attempts at writing him flirting are pretty pathetic. Then again I think he's not the greatest flirter in the world anyway. ;) It has to be just gentle enough so that Beth can convince herself that he's NOT flirting with her, but cute enough so that everyone else can tell that he is... or trying to, anyway.

I don't know how well Beth's feelings are portrayed here. I think I spell it out later, but Beth herself doesn't think of things entirely straightforwardly, so for anyone who wondered here's the straight dope: Beth really likes LP, but she is afraid of him, because he's "too cool" to be friends with her and she's afraid if she acts like she thinks they're real friends he'll get turned off by that and leave. On the other hand she wants to play it cool, too, so she tries to be casual. The "look for moles for me" is a product of that, which - once she thinks about it later - is WAY more intimate than she is actually comfortable being. Beth's whole relationship with Launchpad at this point is almost entirely conflicting on every point, in that she likes him but doesn't want to, is scared of him and also feels nicely put at ease by him, looks forward to seeing him and is terrified of his visits, and especially, feels both better and worse about herself after each time he comes in. She also can't make up her mind whether he really likes her or if he's just being friendly, which only makes her worse.

And while I'm spelling things out: Beth falls for Drake because he touches the back of her neck and tells her it's perfect. This is an unasked-for compliment and an unexpected intimacy that she misinterprets as kindness. With Launchpad she has her shields up; because Drake takes her by surprise, and because he looks more "attainable" than LP, she has no shields. The first rush of giddiness is addictive enough to overcome her better sense, and she lets herself fall for him.

Despite my maintaining that Launchpad is not openly interested in Beth at this stage, I couldn't resist writing things like him noticing that she smells nice. Because I am wacky like that! Don't boys always notice that kinda thing? :P

Once again - I am not sure that the interaction between LP and Beth feels right for a 'first story'. Even though they know each other already, I keep forgetting it's an introduction to Beth and I'm incredibly aware that this probably doesn't read like an intro story. It's because I've written in such a nastily circular way, and am in fact writing that way even more right now since I'm working on a "current" story about flashbacks. It really screws you up to write a story with scenes that take place in the "past" with a perspective on current events, and at the same time work on a "past" story that takes place at approximately the same time but has NO perspective on "current" stuff.

All the stuff about LP and women? Does not convey what I want it to. I mean, informationally it works - it's what I want it to say - but I can't manage it to sound like it really is coming from LP. Oh well. *sigh*

Jerky!Drake. This is actually the explanation for why Jerky!Drake remains a main character in many of the earlier fics, rather than just a standard use. I'm trying to set up why DW would not like Beth from the start, and continue to go by that opinion of her rather than just ignore her like everyone else does, or something. Because I'm sorry, but I am not going to be rewriting this series so that DW takes a liking to her... That was just never going to happen. XD

The description of Henny when she enters is directly from the very first picture anyone drew of Henny - which was by Lar deSouza and can still be found on many websites. I have my own interpretation of Beth and how she looks, but Henny's character design is exactly what Lar did from the start.

"You're talking about Megavolt" and the "lightbulb" over LP's head: no pun intended! Just a fortunate - and silly - accident. *G*

For the record, I don't think that "Zip it!" is a reference to anything... I just thought it sounded funny in my head and would be amusing to have several characters say it in one scene. I don't think I'll come back to it, at least not in this fic, since that would be overkill.

It's dawned on me just now some of what's missing in my writing Drake. I'm missing the drama and showmanship he puts into some of his little actions; I tend to replace it with snark, of which DW has plenty, but he's not so one-note as I write him. But I find snark easier to write, especially when he's in the mood I've placed him in during this scene, so the snark wins this round. XD Maybe I can make myself write in more drama in future fics, now that I've had this insight! Thank you, Blogspot.com, for showing me the way!

TWC 1 Chapter notes... chapter 1

If I can catch up on stuff like this, I'll be able to make notes with each chapter I post! So lemme see.

This doesn't correspond with the chapter 1 that's posted on ff.net, because I'm actually separating them a little bit differently for formatting on the website. You'll hopefully manage to figure it out, though, b/c I doubt very much people are going to go run off and open a copy of the fic to play along at home. ^_~

Anyway! I tend to put a buttload of notes at the end of my completed fics; I save 'em up for the finale, so to speak. That's good but what about stuff you wonder on when you're reading? You may not care as much as I do (I love author notes), so if you don't, skip alla this. *G* If I go a chapter at a time I'll have far less overwhelming notes though... that's a plus! Oh yes - this is also how I hope to list my inspirations and if there are any actual lines I've borrowed from a specific source (Cassie Claire made me nervous, even though in my adult life I've never "borrowed" on that level... still though... best to document, yes?)

So, chapter 1 of the Beginning :)

References/etc:
- Kids in the Hall: "Joe"'s reference to Mac & Cheese is loosely inspired by KITH. I no longer remember how, I just know that it was. If you get it, revel in it! Yay for KITH!
- Batman: Darkwing's best "I am the night" expression
- Firesign Theatre: Megavolt's line about "powerful gasoline and a shoeshine" etc is from Firesign's album "Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers". *pimp, pimp* Firesign is, for anyone not familiar with them (which is probably a good chunk of my audience), a strange and extremely smart and literate comedy troupe. They will likely show up in more of my fics. ^_~
- Richard Feynman and Albert Einstein: have worked their way into Megavolt's discussion/argument with the large flashlight. I don't know that they had any theories that contradicted one another, though. I really just picked those two names at random.

General notes:
- I started writing the beginning of this rewrite in 2000. I made it a few paragraphs and found the action hard to write. I skipped forward a bit to try and pick up some momentum, got a few more paragraphs done, and completely lost it. It languished for years until I picked it up again recently and found it a tad bit easier. You can see the two different writing styles (my writing style changes, for better or for worse, rather noticeably every couple of years depending on how much writing I actually *do*. Since there were a good six years in between most of the sections, the change is major in spots). I am a lazy editor and just left it unless it really stank.

- Who is Joe? Nobody. I named him because, in my original (1995) version, my pre-reader got confused and thought it was Megavolt in the opening scene. That was due to my lousy writing, and I fixed it in that version, but was left with a need to really make this guy an individual, just to avoid confusion. I don't know much about Joe, except that he's kinda dumb, on the young side, and ultimately rather unlucky. *G*

- I generally treated the Original Version (henceforth referred to as OV) of the fic as an extended outline so far. Take the same basic format and general happenings and just add to it. Flesh out with better characterizations, a few more gags, and a slightly slower pace. It's funny to look at the OV next to this chapter especially because it really does read like a summary or something of the new version.

- Since this is a rewrite I think I have a problem with one of the major things this story is supposed to be about: introducing Beth as a new character. I have been writing her for so long, and so many people have already read other fics (if not this one) with her, that it's almost taken for granted for me that people know who she is. Her first scene (which is another one I started in 2000 and made it about three paragraphs into) is intended to introduce her in a slightly more personal, less rushed way than in the OV. I'm too close to the material to have any idea if it introduces her for the first time or if it just brings her into the story as if we're supposed to know her already. I think it's the latter. I've come back to try to rewrite it again and worried that I'm overdoing it instead, so I've opted to leave it the sort of subtle way it is now, and just go ahead and look lazy. I did realize that I didn't give her last name at all in the version on FF.net, so that's fixed. I need to work a good description of her in there somewhere too. Oy.

- Oh yes! And now we get treated to Beth's crazy relationship with her mother right off the bat, which probably confuses the reader about her personality if they don't already know Beth! Heh ^_^;; Also I hate writing accents. Especially Irish accents.

- I'm not going to pretend I'm utterly comfortable writing for Megavolt. But I enjoyed it in the OV - I still think he's one of the highlights - and although I'm probably sort of overthinking it now, I'm enjoying it here. I have come up with a few lines I've really liked, and the "giant Employee of the Month plaque" is one of them. :D

- Beth's morning experience with the shipment at Bindler's is based heavily on my own years of experience receiving shipment in various retail positions. Yeah it was all exciting at the first job when I was 19. It got less and less so afterwards. (Though there's still something to be said for opening boxes and finding out what's inside... It's like Christmas twice a week! Um but I digress) I never tried desperately to make conversation with the deliverymen, though, and they were all quite friendly for the most part. :) This scene is a plus though because it finally introduces us a bit more to the "real" Beth, the babble-fest who wants to like everyone (and wants even more to *be* liked).

- For anyone who has only read the FF.Net version of this, I suggest checking it on my website. I added a brief description of Beth (in terms of why she avoids mirrors) and I find it rather amusing, especially the part about the size of her head. XD

- The Feynmann/Einstein stuff came about because last year I read Richard Feynmann's memoirs (well, one of them) and really enjoyed it. When I was trying to think of a version of a deep and philosophical discussion that Megavolt might have, I thought something perhaps with Einstein and then picked Feynmann to counter him, even though I haven't seen any evidence that they were ever at odds. But they worked together so maybe they contradicted each other at some point...? Eh, it was just an excuse to toss Richard Feynmann into my fic. ;D Note how I am so lazy I cannot bother to make "duck" versions of either name.

- I found it very easy to write a cranky Drake. (Hmm wonder why. maybe because I always write him that way. 9_9) Contrarily I found it very hard to write LP in this scene. I had about three or four discarded tries of a POV from him before DW gets up, over-explaining his friendship with Beth; finally I decided to just let it go for a while longer, not in the interest of making it a surprise but just to try not to overexplain it. Which I proceed to do later, but some of it NEEDS explaining... kind of... damn I'm just wordy. :P One thing I did decide to do as I was developing the chapter was play down the relationship between LP and Beth. Originally it was going to be a little stronger, still without him quite realizing he had a crush on her, but definitely with him having a crush. I ultimately came to decide on a different track for that part of this story; it's really funny the way these things get away from you, huh? :)

- You and I both know that I have nothing in this story that is more Darkwing-esque than "Sidekick Ruins Photo Opportunity". ^_^

So you know how I said the notes would be less overwhelming if I did them on a chapter-by-chapter basis? That only works if I don't add a bunch of notes as I go because I have the extra space to do so. CRIPES. :P

Let me just toss one out here then

So yeah, I was going to update this on Monday. And before that I was going to update it last Thursday. Seriously! But then I did not, and in the end here we are and I'm like "must do NOW!"

I have at least three things I want to post on, but I'm only going to do one tonight. Since the timing for it is more or less apt (or it was when I first wanted to make the post), I'm going to do a characterization post on Gosalyn, since she made her first appearance in TWC1 with the chapter that I posted on 6/12.

So. Writing Gosalyn. I actually find it very difficult. :) Well, difficult under certain circumstances: specifically I have a lot of trouble writing Gos in group settings, because in those situations she is not one for insight or planning so much as a general sense of excitement over any adventure going on. And if there is no adventure what then? That's where I run into problems, so Gosalyn tends to tune people out a lot in my "group scenes". *G* On the other hand I love writing her in dialogue with Drake; that comes very naturally for some reason, they play off each other well in my head, I guess.

Gosalyn obviously has a lot of energy, and although she has a definite penchant for getting into trouble, she doesn't do it maliciously. With Gos it's like, hmm, let's compare her to Negaduck and say that both of them might like to see something blow up. But where Negaduck would want to blow it up so that it's destroyed, Gosalyn would just want to see it blow up for the pyrotechnics and stuff. It's not the destruction or anything bad, it's just the excitement of the moment that she loves. This is not entirely hard to write, because it lends itself to a sort of cheerful, exuberant delivery of odd suggestions that go in a general direction that many people would just not expect.

The main problem is that I don't like to write characters as just one-liners (or several-liners), I like to try to go into more depth and get inside their heads. The previous chapter was really hard for me in that way, because I found it very difficult to figure out what Gosalyn would think of Beth. Beth is not exciting or interesting, although (unlike with Drake) as long as she's not actively working against Gos I don't see Gos actually disliking her. Thinking she's boring, sure, but Gos might rebel a bit against authority but she only actually antagonizes someone if that person antagonizes her first. (Besides which, Beth has no air of authority whatsoever.) Having said that though, why should she let Beth into the house? I went with a general sense of curiosity and a short attention span.

So yeah. It's not that I feel like I don't understand Gosalyn... Generally I think I have a decent grasp of her character. The problem is mainly in that I find it tricky to write a ten-year-old, and in trying to convincingly relate her into the series as a whole person and not a cartoon character (been tricky for me for all the characters so far, eh? This is like my most-repeated line!). I think I will do better in later chapters; I'm generally mostly satisfied, I guess, with this chapter but I felt like I sort of shoe-horned certain aspects into where I wanted them to fit and then I had to awkwardly shift the POV over to Beth in a kind of weird way. So - later chapters and fics might work a little bit better.

Whoop-de-doo, Tarantula Town!

After ... I no longer remember how many weeks it's been now, I *finally* have managed to finish the last chapter of Act II of TWC1. Thank you lord. I had wanted to have it done by my trip two weeks ago but I just... well, I've been through it. ^_~ Once I got past a certain point it became a little easier and I'm just so glad to have finally posted it! I had to write it slightly out of order, regarding transitional scenes and such, so after I finished the last bit I had to go back and edit and rewrite. I ended up with my first official "deleted scene"! XD Something for the webpage, if I ever get it up and running.

When I was writing it I didn't like how some parts were turning out, but once I'd sewn it all together I reread those parts and they read the way I wanted them to after all. Go figure. Oh well: it's done! It's DONE! So now I will try to write a real content-laden post very soon! But first I had to shout with glee. ^_^