Ugh, I have had writer's block the past couple of weeks. Yeah, I know, *again*. Well, in this case it's one of those things where I am not even thinking about writing as much so I can't pull myself together to DO it when I have the time. I did manage to outline my ideas for the last chapter of act II of TWC1, though.
Since the last stuff I posted (and really, practically the last stuff I worked on) was LP-heavy, this is a good time to ramble about my characterization of LP! (uh-huh, sure.) I've never made it any secret at all that I'm a big fan of LP's. Unfortunately that doesn't mean I'm able to write him or anything. *G* Out of all the characters of this show I think I've always been weakest at writing Launchpad... There are a few reasons for this, I've decided over the past few months.
A big reason is because of the disconnect between "Darkwing" Launchpad and "DuckTales" Launchpad. I mean essentially there really are two Launchpads, with the earlier one being the more active one and the later one being much more reduced in role and scope. LP was always comic relief and always kind of good-naturedly dumb, but he had a much more active role in "DuckTales". DWD's Launchpad is a more passive character, often there primarily to provide a punchline more than play an active role in the crimefighting. They definitely stepped outside of that limitation quite often - not only in eps like "Water Way to Go" when LP gets to be the main hero or stuff like that, but just in general at times LP contributed more. But ultimately the character was not the same as on "DuckTales", he was kind of domesticated.
Don't get me wrong; I don't care at all. :D But it made it harder for me to write him, especially with any real sense of personalitiy. My liking for LP didn't translate into deepening him or revitalizing him as a heroic type or anything, it kind of translated as me thinking he was a great guy and would be a great boyfriend (to be honest: I never wanted him to be MY boyfriend. I have Ryouga for that, thanks) and so I just wrote him as Mr. Great Boyfriend. Which is not really fair to LP because it just, ultimately further reduces him.
I also made the huuuuge, but understandable given the age I was in, mistake of injecting the early stories with a healthy dose of angst. Did I say "healthy"? I'm not sure that's the right word for it. ;D It's excessive. I was young. A lot of the stuff that I was writing about was the sort of thing actually going around in my social circles (at least the self-pity and emo stuff, if not the actual events) but that doesn't make it less annoying to read. *G* Somewhere after "The Bride Wore Black" even I was sick of it and I took a vow: I was not going to write ANY more angst if I could help it. Not unless it actually fit the story and character, in any case! And in the past 11 years I've pretty much stuck by that, good for me. :)
So in revisiting these early stories, I'm trying to stick to that vow again. (as we can see, I apparently have decided it's VERY necessary to the plot in AAE, as it's laid on thick and heavy.) I've wanted for a while to improve on my take on Launchpad - he deserves more than just "Beth's would-be boyfriend". I've never even given a fully satisfactory reason as to why he fell for her in the first place. Not only that, but he's barely even Darkwing's sidekick in these stories, so I want to get him at least back up to THAT status.
Which basically means reinventing how I see him, let alone how I write him. It was about six or so months ago that I started realizing I write him as a very, VERY passive character. I'm infrequently "in his head" and when I am, it's usually in response to something someone else is doing rather than him doing anything. So I gave him more action in "High, Dry, and Flooded" - more sidekick action in particular - which was a good start. This attempt at breaking out of the "passive" role also led to me surprising myself by writing his confession to Beth at the end of that story. In the five ore more years I had been planning that fic, that scene was NEVER in the outline. Then about two weeks before I wrote it, it popped into my head. Surprise! ;D And it was totally right, and I never saw it coming.
It's been similar attempts at getting "into his head" in TWC1, perhaps to varying degrees of success. This is sort of my big chance to not only give him a bit more depth, but to in fact decide just HOW I want to present him in these fics. I can essentially start over. I mean, I know it's not going to be very different from what I've been writing lately, but I can lay down a more concrete base to work with.
I want to give him a few more layers, and as with any other character I really care for (and feel for) that means I want him to have some low points too. I want him to get a little irritated, act a little thoughtlessly, generally be wrong some of the time. I do believe that Launchpad is a sweet guy who couldn't be mean if he were being paid to be so; doesn't mean he can't occasionally say or do the wrong thing without realizing it. I don't know exactly how all this will come out, but we'll see. :)
In terms of character traits... well, for one, I don't tend to go with people who say that they think LP is "smarter than he lets on". I'll agree that he seems a bit dimmer than he did on "DuckTales", but I'd rather just write somewhere in between there than speculate that maybe he plays it dumb to keep DW's ego happy. I don't see any evidence of that, I think they just tweaked the character for a show that was based more in comedy than DT had been. LP is... um... not a thinker. So what? I like 'em big and dumb. (Once again, we have Ryouga for evidence.) ^_~ Nah, but seriously, I tend to like characters the way they are - flaws and all. If a character I like has a negative trait I rarely see it as character assassination, unless I think it's too played up at that character's expense (like Joxer on "Xena: Warrior Princess", don't even get me STARTED).
The brief, cartoony, choppy feel of the early stories allowed for a certain suspension of disbelief as regards LP falling for Beth. We may never know WHY, exactly, but it happened and it's established and we'll just go with that, right? Fine... except that I don't write that way anymore. That's why in the end I need to flesh it out. I need to think of the characters as *characters* instead of shadows, and I need a reason why LP would fall for this girl, a girl who thinks of herself as invisible and does a good job of convincing the rest of the world of it, too. I've no doubt that he'd be friendly with her, start up a conversation, find her pleasant enough, but fall in love? Why?
I've got reasons, finally. I hope I'll eventually get to them. For now I'll say, in the course of TWC1, you may be wondering if he's actually falling for her yet. Nope. Not within this story. There may be a little more than he's letting on to himself... maybe... but right now they're both just forging a tenuous friendship. Look for developments in fics to come, however.... IF I ever manage to write 'em. :P
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
:D
I totally had the BEST idea to create a "flow" through the first five Webfoot fics!! :D Well I mean - a "flow" in the Beth/Launchpad stuff since that's the stuff that needs it. I'd been wondering about the pacing of certain things, and whatnot. And I totally figured it out last night! Well - maybe not "figured it out", but it was a real "EUREKA" kind of moment. It made TOTAL sense. Those are my favourite brainstorming moments; I'm wondering all about how to make something work, usually something I've already written and need to go back and strengthen, and I have this idea that once it occurs to me I kind of go "Oh, DUH. Of course it's been that way all along." XD
I'm so happy, I want to spout random Japanese phrases! Dai ureshii wa! ^_^
I'm so happy, I want to spout random Japanese phrases! Dai ureshii wa! ^_^
Monday, April 14, 2008
Why not post here?
I guess it can't hurt to post some of the fic in my blog. I just had a fairly productive twenty minutes or so where I wrote approximately the same amount that I wrote in, oh, let's guess about an hour the last time I tried to write. So yay! And I'm happier with it, so double-yay! It doesn't fix what I wrote before (which I'm still not happy with) but I'm willing to gloss over that right now.
I can't figure out if you can do cut-tags here in blogspot. Doesn't look that way. Well, I'm going to paste in what I wrote since hte last bit I posted at ff.net; so if you actually read this blog you get a sneaky preview! Luckykins. ;D (Or not. I think nobody reads this. But I like having a place I can ramble to and save my rambles, so it's good enough for grampa and good enough for me.) This will be loooong... and it's still only about half the chapter... ;_;
*************
It would be so much easier if he said hello first. She slowed as she approached, hoping he would notice her and she could pretend she hadn't noticed him and act surprised when he said something, but there was no such luck. Maybe she should just keep walking...
The idea of passing someone she knew on the street, *staring* at them, and walking right by them was so stupid and embarrassing that she took a deep breath and pushed right through her shyness. "Ha- hi!" she said, catching a little on the forced peppiness of her voice.
Launchpad started, which was embarrassing and awkward, and for the first split second that he looked at her she would swear he had no idea who she was and that was even worse. She remembered immediately why she preferred never to approach anyone. But a second later, recognition lit his entire face and he gave her a broad grin. "Hey, Beth! Long time no see!"
She laughed awkwardly, all the adrenalin that had allowed her to speak up a moment ago now draining into a kind of weak nervousness. "Heh, yeah, guess so. Um, sorry if I scared you, I just was walking home and I saw you and I thought it would be nice to say something..."
"No problemo," he said casually. That was not a phrase she heard many people say, and it made her smile. "I'm glad you did say somethin', I didn't even hear ya comin' up."
"Oh. Well good."
He looked past her, up towards the roof of the building behind her, for a moment and then back down at her. "You look different outside of Bindler's," he said thoughtfully.
"I... do?" She became self-conscious suddenly; maybe it was the lighting. "In a good way or a bad way?"
Launchpad tilted his head as if considering. "I dunno. Neither really, you just look more... I dunno, more real."
She wanted to ask again if that was good or bad, but that was the kind of question that usually drove guys up the wall (or so she'd heard), so she just smiled nervously instead. As ever, the pleasure she felt in talking to Launchpad was paired with an equally strong sense of guilt; the more she spoke to him, the more she felt like she was keeping him from something else, and she should really let him go and do the things he'd rather be doing. And yet if she didn't talk to him, the guilt didn't go away, it just mutated itself so that she felt guilty for not returning his kindness; he cared enough to talk to her and keep her company, and she was trying to ditch him for some reason. Either way, apparently, Beth was a total jerk in her own mind and since there was no winning, she just stayed where she was, felt uncomfortable, and enjoyed having someone to talk to.
Just now, he straighted up and nodded a little, as though he'd reached a decision. "I think it's in a good way," he said finally. She could feel her cheeks growing hot, and she looked at her feet; as she did, she noticed that Launchpad looked distinctly satisfied with himself somehow.
"Um, thanks," she said quietly. She wondered if she was supposed to return the compliment, decided that if she did it would sound phony, and made a mental note to herself to give him a spontaneous compliment as soon as she could work one in naturally. The conversation was lagging; she fumbled for a topic. Looking back up at him, she said, "Did you guys find the bolt you were looking for?"
Launchpad had been looking at the skyline again; as he dragged his eyes back down towards her, he said, "Huh? Oh, no, it's funny... apparently you guys are the only ones in the area who carry 'em."
Beth was surprised. "Really? Wow, there must have been a recall or something. Henny gets these deals with manufacturers to unload all their leftover stock at lower prices, see," she explained. "She's, um, she's really good at negotiations."
"I bet," Launchpad said in a low voice. Whatever he was thinking, Beth guessed it wasn't flattering, and she giggled. He winked at her, before checking out the rooftops again.
"I'm sorry, is there -" Beth began to turn around and check out whatever he was looking at, continuing, "Am I keeping you from something?"
"Oh, no way!" he said quickly, and reached for her shoulder, pulling her back to look at him. She was startled enough that she whirled back, and they stared at one another for a few seconds before both smiled sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that," he said.
"I just mean, uh, there's nothin' up there. Just... just the stars."
"Oh, you're looking at the stars?" She smiled; that was kind of romantic. Although when she looked over his head, the light pollution in St. Canard was so strong that she couldn't make out anything but streetlamps.
"Uh, kinda," he said, perhaps guessing what she was thinking. "Tryin' to, anyway." With all the speed of someone who was deliberately changing the subject, he said, "So that bolt! I think I'm gonna come in and put in a special order or somethin', if you guys think you could get any more."
"Oh, that's a good idea!" she said. An even better idea occurred to her then, an idea of the kind she rarely had: clever, subtle, and almost-but-not-quite devious. "In fact, I can put one in FOR you. But I'll do it in Mr. Mallard's name so that it'll come straight to him, since he's the one who needs the bolt."
"Hey, good thinkin'," Launchpad said, nodding.
Beth retrieved a pen and an old receipt from the pocket of her jacket, and held them at the ready. "I'll just need his phone number and full address, and I'll get this done the next time I'm at work." She looked up apologetically. "I can't get it delivered in less than five business days, though. I guess he kind of needs it sooner than that."
"Well, we'll keep lookin' around to see what comes up, but if that's the quickest we can get it, it's good enough for me." Launchpad rattled off an address and phone number, and Beth scribbled both down and shoved both paper and pen back into her pockets, feeling satisfied and even a little proud of herself. She knew that she was extremely unlikely to ever call Drake Mallard personally, but now, if she actually felt up to it, she *could*.
The fact that she'd accomplished this task lifted her spirits and made talking to Launchpad easier, somehow. "Well, I feel better now that *that's* taken care of," she said.
"That's real nice of you to keep DW in mind that way," Launchpad offered.
"Oh, you know, customers first." Emboldened by her recent success, she asked, "So, um, is Mister - Dra- Drake... Mallard... around?" That was the most awkward sentence ever spoken aloud, she thought, and wilted inside.
"Oh, Drake is, uh, he's grocery shoppin'," Launchpad answered.
"At... at ten in the evening?"
Launchpad cleared his throat. "Uh, well, we needed a few emergency things." He looked uncertain. "And I'm just out here, uh..."
"Looking at stars," she finished for him.
"Yeah. Well, no, not just that!" Looking uncertain, he said, "I'm actually... keepin' an eye on the car, too."
"Oh! Well, gosh, that's really nice of you!" She was starting to get tired, and still had a long walk ahead of her, but the chance for a possibility of seeing Drake again was so great that she had to at least consider staying. "So, is... is Mist- is he going to be coming back soon? Do you think?"
Launchpad looked just the tiniest bit lost, and it took him a moment to answer.
***
"For the last time, you single-minded simpleton, it's a *grappling hook*!" Darkwing shouted, dodging another blast of lightning. Megavolt seemed beyond listening by now, however; he wasn't even ranting about robots anymore, just taking aim with that zap-gun of his and shooting bolts in all directions.
Well, two could play at that game. Darkwing pulled out his gas gun, aimed by instinct, and fired. And only *then* remembered that it was broken, as the gun misfired and a cloud of purple gas began to leak out of the gun and surround him. He kicked it to the side, cursing everything from the gun to the bolt to that bubblehead at the hardware store who hadn't helped him at all; the gun had worked fine when he shot the grappling hook - why was there a problem now?!
Megavolt's attention was somehow ensnared by Darkwing's momentary equipment failure. "Ha! If that was supposed to be intimidating, I've gotta tell you, you need to rethink your strategy!" He giggled at that, though Darkwing didn't think it was a particularly impressive taunt.
He tried bluffing in response. "All part of a plan, Sparky, but the less you know about it, the better!"
Whether Megavolt would have bought it or not would never be known, however, since he apparently stopped paying attention at the name "Sparky". "Oooooh, YOU! *DON'T*! CALL! ME! THAT!!" The amount of power he was discharging went up considerably, and the rooftop began to look like it was housing a neon sign in the shape of an electrified rat.
Maybe the taunting hadn't been the best idea, Darkwing acknowledged as he hugged the edge of the rooftop, fleeing from Megavolt's blasts. He paused at the west side of the roof, sticking his arm over the side and waving it three times in what he hoped was as natural a way as possible. So, granted, this fight hadn't gone entirely as he'd envisioned it so far, but Darkwing was a master of improvisational fighting and this whole showdown could easily be salvaged. Darkwing would keep wearing him out, and meanwhile, Launchpad would be up here in just a few minutes to distract him and help take him down.
***
In fact, Darkwing would have been absolutely right in his expectations, if Launchpad had actually been following the plan. Instead, his sidekick's attention was increasingly focused on Beth; she kept asking stuff about Drake, and he was having more and more trouble steering the conversation away from the danger zone. Launchpad felt he was generally pretty good at not giving away anything important when it came to secret identities or that kind of thing, but Beth kept asking so *many* questions that he was having a little trouble coming up with answers.
"What department?" she asked, cocking her head. She looked so *intent*; he was so fascinated by how different she was from when she was at work, how much more *alive* she seemed, that he forgot to answer. "Launchpad? What department does Mr. Mallard work in?"
"Huh?" Shoot, another tough question.
"In his social work. Do you guys both work in the same department?"
"Oh, uh..." He coughed as a way to stall. "It's, work with, uh, whattaya call it. Troubled teens."
"Social outreach kind of thing?" Launchpad nodded; Beth's eyes were practically shining. "That's so noble!"
"Yeah," said Launchpad. "And, yeah, I work with him. For him, kinda." She didn't seem to notice; he felt the tiniest touch of disappointment at that, but decided that he needed to change the subject completely before she asked something even harder. "So... do you go out a lot?"
"Go out?" She seemed taken aback; her energy level fell noticeably. "You mean like, with... with other people?"
"Yeah," he said, surprised that he'd taken the conversation that way. Sure, he'd mentioned to DW that he'd been playing with the idea of asking her out, but he hadn't given it any thought beyond that. "Out, with people."
She gave a quick, odd laugh. "Um, no, generally speaking no I don't."
"Really? You're kiddin' me," he said, grinning. She got all fidgety and looked at her feet, rubbing her cheek a little and grinning a little, herself. "Well, maybe sometime I could -"
"You probably do a lot though, huh?" she said quickly, cutting him off.
He considered the question for a moment. "Well, kinda... Not as much as I used to, but I was thinkin' of-"
"What about Mr. Mallard?" she asked, interrupting him again. "Does he go out on a lot of dates, or... well, he's probably got a wife and everything, actually, right?"
"Who, DW? Nah, he's not married. Nothin' like that." The question had given him pause; how had they ended up on the subject of Drake *again*? It wasn't until Beth's eyes lit up as she answered that he began to understand.
"Oh... he's not married?" she said. Her voice was eager; there was no mistaking it.
So she had a thing for DW. Launchpad needed to just take a little moment to process that; he really hadn't seen that coming. It wasn't like it *mattered* - he didn't have his eye on her that way or anything, it was just...
Well, what was it? He wasn't sure. His interest in Beth was purely platonic, as cute as she was capable of being. She wasn't the type of girl he generally went after, but he liked flirting with her; he liked being the guy to make her smile, since he had a feeling there weren't many guys who took the time to do it. And he really *did* like her, anyway, but that didn't have anything to do with whether or not she was interested in DW.
He was losing his touch, that was it. It wasn't that Launchpad had ever thought of himself as a real ladies' man or anything, exactly, but he'd never had any problems lining up dates either. With most girls, they at least knew when he was flirting with them; Beth was the first one who seemed genuinely ignorant of it. And it wasn't that he wanted to string her along, but he was surprised to find that they weren't on the same page here after all. Now that he thought about it, it *had* been a while since he'd been out with a girl, even casually... There'd been lots of girls when he was younger, in Duckburg, but most of the ones he'd really liked he'd had to leave behind. Then things had started to move more quickly - he'd moved to St. Canard, taken up odd jobs, started working with DW, and dating just hadn't been a priority. It took a lot of energy, it seemed, and there weren't usually more than two or three dates, and then either he or the girl lost interest; lots of misunderstandings, or just boredom.
Beth was kind of an experiment, and also kind of an attempt to ease himself back into it; go out a few times with a friend, remember how you do it, then start working into meeting new girls and seeing what happens. And it was way better to go out with a friend you knew you liked being with than it was to just pick someone at random, right?
Except now that he thought about it, asking Beth out under those circumstances, flirting with her every time he saw her... it all felt a little dishonest. He felt like a heel. Better not to ask her out in case she took it the wrong way... He was probably lucky he hadn't already set that situation up, by mistake.
"Oh, gosh, what time is it?" Beth asked suddenly. Launchpad checked his watch - it was quarter to eleven - then showed it to her. "WOW, is it really that late? I'm sorry to keep you - I should have -"
"Hey, I'm the one who's waitin' here, remember?" he interrupted, chuckling. "Calm down. It's more like I'm the one keepin' you."
She half-smiled. "It's not like that at all," she said; it was hard to tell if she was talking to him, or to herself, but she relaxed a little. "Well, I should go. I'm starving, and I have a long walk ahead of me."
Something in that sentence made him uneasy, but Launchpad tried not to show it. "Then go get somethin' to eat, an' I'll see ya later. Thanks for sayin' hi."
"Thanks for... answering," she said feebly. Her smile was distinctly nervous now, and she started past him down the sidewalk. "I'll see you. Um, probably. Right?"
"Yeah," he said, a little distractedly. It hit him belatedly what was bothering him about what she'd said. A long walk home... "How long is long?" he asked as she was walking away.
"What?" She turned back to him, and when he repeated the question, she blinked and then understood. "Oh - home? Um, about twenty minutes. So it's really not that bad, I'm just hungry, and you know how it is when you really want to *be* somewhere, right?"
"Yeah, but..." The direction she was headed in one a bad one. Launchpad had a pretty good sense of the better and worse parts of the city, and another half mile or so that way was definitely one of the worse. "Are you - you're just gonna walk?"
Beth cocked her head. "Well, yeah." She caught on a moment later, and fished through her handbag. "Oh! Oh, it's okay. I walk home all the time. I-" She paused, rummaging, then came up with a little spray can. "I have pepper spray." It had taken her a long time to find it, tucked away in her handbag. Her incredibly conspicuous handbag.
Launchpad had a sudden, vivid mental picture of Beth getting mugged. It was a horrible picture. His stomach twisted a little. "Look, I'm gonna..." He stopped. What was he going to do? Walk her home? That wasn't an option right now. With that thought as a trigger to remind him, he looked up briefly at the rooftop, then back down to Beth. He could *not* let this woman walk home alone.
She was watching him quizzically. A moment later the proverbial lightbulb went off over his head, and he dug into his pocket. "Okay. I think I got enough for a cab."
Beth came rushing back towards him, shaking her head and her hands. "Oh no, oh gosh, no no no. Please don't."
"Yeah. I'm insistin'."
"No! I can't take-" He stopped her, and forced the money into her hands. She held onto it but frowned. "I-I can afford a cab myself," she said quietly.
"Okay. Then you can pay me back later." She started to argue again, and he cut her off. "C'mon. Do me a favour, Beth." He grinned, what he hoped was appealingly, and she softened. A huge weight lifted off his chest when she nodded her consent. "Great. No rush on payin' me back, either. I'll see ya real soon."
Beth dropped her hands, cupping the money he'd just given her, and gave that half-smile again. "I'll have the money for you then." She took a step backwards, turned to go, and then turned back. "Um... Thanks."
"No problemo!"
She turned again, took two more steps, and then turned back beseechingly. "Tell Mr. Mallard 'hi' for me?"
Launchpad smiled and nodded, and what he felt was oddly melancholy. "Will do." Beth waved, and he waved back, and then she was halfway down the block, and then she had turned a corner.
He did wish he could have walked her home. But he was technically on the job, and there was DW's plan to consider... His eyes widened. "Uh-oh." Launchpad turned his head up to the rooftop, in time to see Darkwing hanging half over the edge, waving both arms frantically.
"LAUNCHPAAAAD!" he yelled. Then he disappeared - apparently pulled backwards - and there was quite a lot of light.
"*Uh-oh,*" Launchpad repeated, and raced across the street.
I can't figure out if you can do cut-tags here in blogspot. Doesn't look that way. Well, I'm going to paste in what I wrote since hte last bit I posted at ff.net; so if you actually read this blog you get a sneaky preview! Luckykins. ;D (Or not. I think nobody reads this. But I like having a place I can ramble to and save my rambles, so it's good enough for grampa and good enough for me.) This will be loooong... and it's still only about half the chapter... ;_;
*************
It would be so much easier if he said hello first. She slowed as she approached, hoping he would notice her and she could pretend she hadn't noticed him and act surprised when he said something, but there was no such luck. Maybe she should just keep walking...
The idea of passing someone she knew on the street, *staring* at them, and walking right by them was so stupid and embarrassing that she took a deep breath and pushed right through her shyness. "Ha- hi!" she said, catching a little on the forced peppiness of her voice.
Launchpad started, which was embarrassing and awkward, and for the first split second that he looked at her she would swear he had no idea who she was and that was even worse. She remembered immediately why she preferred never to approach anyone. But a second later, recognition lit his entire face and he gave her a broad grin. "Hey, Beth! Long time no see!"
She laughed awkwardly, all the adrenalin that had allowed her to speak up a moment ago now draining into a kind of weak nervousness. "Heh, yeah, guess so. Um, sorry if I scared you, I just was walking home and I saw you and I thought it would be nice to say something..."
"No problemo," he said casually. That was not a phrase she heard many people say, and it made her smile. "I'm glad you did say somethin', I didn't even hear ya comin' up."
"Oh. Well good."
He looked past her, up towards the roof of the building behind her, for a moment and then back down at her. "You look different outside of Bindler's," he said thoughtfully.
"I... do?" She became self-conscious suddenly; maybe it was the lighting. "In a good way or a bad way?"
Launchpad tilted his head as if considering. "I dunno. Neither really, you just look more... I dunno, more real."
She wanted to ask again if that was good or bad, but that was the kind of question that usually drove guys up the wall (or so she'd heard), so she just smiled nervously instead. As ever, the pleasure she felt in talking to Launchpad was paired with an equally strong sense of guilt; the more she spoke to him, the more she felt like she was keeping him from something else, and she should really let him go and do the things he'd rather be doing. And yet if she didn't talk to him, the guilt didn't go away, it just mutated itself so that she felt guilty for not returning his kindness; he cared enough to talk to her and keep her company, and she was trying to ditch him for some reason. Either way, apparently, Beth was a total jerk in her own mind and since there was no winning, she just stayed where she was, felt uncomfortable, and enjoyed having someone to talk to.
Just now, he straighted up and nodded a little, as though he'd reached a decision. "I think it's in a good way," he said finally. She could feel her cheeks growing hot, and she looked at her feet; as she did, she noticed that Launchpad looked distinctly satisfied with himself somehow.
"Um, thanks," she said quietly. She wondered if she was supposed to return the compliment, decided that if she did it would sound phony, and made a mental note to herself to give him a spontaneous compliment as soon as she could work one in naturally. The conversation was lagging; she fumbled for a topic. Looking back up at him, she said, "Did you guys find the bolt you were looking for?"
Launchpad had been looking at the skyline again; as he dragged his eyes back down towards her, he said, "Huh? Oh, no, it's funny... apparently you guys are the only ones in the area who carry 'em."
Beth was surprised. "Really? Wow, there must have been a recall or something. Henny gets these deals with manufacturers to unload all their leftover stock at lower prices, see," she explained. "She's, um, she's really good at negotiations."
"I bet," Launchpad said in a low voice. Whatever he was thinking, Beth guessed it wasn't flattering, and she giggled. He winked at her, before checking out the rooftops again.
"I'm sorry, is there -" Beth began to turn around and check out whatever he was looking at, continuing, "Am I keeping you from something?"
"Oh, no way!" he said quickly, and reached for her shoulder, pulling her back to look at him. She was startled enough that she whirled back, and they stared at one another for a few seconds before both smiled sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that," he said.
"I just mean, uh, there's nothin' up there. Just... just the stars."
"Oh, you're looking at the stars?" She smiled; that was kind of romantic. Although when she looked over his head, the light pollution in St. Canard was so strong that she couldn't make out anything but streetlamps.
"Uh, kinda," he said, perhaps guessing what she was thinking. "Tryin' to, anyway." With all the speed of someone who was deliberately changing the subject, he said, "So that bolt! I think I'm gonna come in and put in a special order or somethin', if you guys think you could get any more."
"Oh, that's a good idea!" she said. An even better idea occurred to her then, an idea of the kind she rarely had: clever, subtle, and almost-but-not-quite devious. "In fact, I can put one in FOR you. But I'll do it in Mr. Mallard's name so that it'll come straight to him, since he's the one who needs the bolt."
"Hey, good thinkin'," Launchpad said, nodding.
Beth retrieved a pen and an old receipt from the pocket of her jacket, and held them at the ready. "I'll just need his phone number and full address, and I'll get this done the next time I'm at work." She looked up apologetically. "I can't get it delivered in less than five business days, though. I guess he kind of needs it sooner than that."
"Well, we'll keep lookin' around to see what comes up, but if that's the quickest we can get it, it's good enough for me." Launchpad rattled off an address and phone number, and Beth scribbled both down and shoved both paper and pen back into her pockets, feeling satisfied and even a little proud of herself. She knew that she was extremely unlikely to ever call Drake Mallard personally, but now, if she actually felt up to it, she *could*.
The fact that she'd accomplished this task lifted her spirits and made talking to Launchpad easier, somehow. "Well, I feel better now that *that's* taken care of," she said.
"That's real nice of you to keep DW in mind that way," Launchpad offered.
"Oh, you know, customers first." Emboldened by her recent success, she asked, "So, um, is Mister - Dra- Drake... Mallard... around?" That was the most awkward sentence ever spoken aloud, she thought, and wilted inside.
"Oh, Drake is, uh, he's grocery shoppin'," Launchpad answered.
"At... at ten in the evening?"
Launchpad cleared his throat. "Uh, well, we needed a few emergency things." He looked uncertain. "And I'm just out here, uh..."
"Looking at stars," she finished for him.
"Yeah. Well, no, not just that!" Looking uncertain, he said, "I'm actually... keepin' an eye on the car, too."
"Oh! Well, gosh, that's really nice of you!" She was starting to get tired, and still had a long walk ahead of her, but the chance for a possibility of seeing Drake again was so great that she had to at least consider staying. "So, is... is Mist- is he going to be coming back soon? Do you think?"
Launchpad looked just the tiniest bit lost, and it took him a moment to answer.
***
"For the last time, you single-minded simpleton, it's a *grappling hook*!" Darkwing shouted, dodging another blast of lightning. Megavolt seemed beyond listening by now, however; he wasn't even ranting about robots anymore, just taking aim with that zap-gun of his and shooting bolts in all directions.
Well, two could play at that game. Darkwing pulled out his gas gun, aimed by instinct, and fired. And only *then* remembered that it was broken, as the gun misfired and a cloud of purple gas began to leak out of the gun and surround him. He kicked it to the side, cursing everything from the gun to the bolt to that bubblehead at the hardware store who hadn't helped him at all; the gun had worked fine when he shot the grappling hook - why was there a problem now?!
Megavolt's attention was somehow ensnared by Darkwing's momentary equipment failure. "Ha! If that was supposed to be intimidating, I've gotta tell you, you need to rethink your strategy!" He giggled at that, though Darkwing didn't think it was a particularly impressive taunt.
He tried bluffing in response. "All part of a plan, Sparky, but the less you know about it, the better!"
Whether Megavolt would have bought it or not would never be known, however, since he apparently stopped paying attention at the name "Sparky". "Oooooh, YOU! *DON'T*! CALL! ME! THAT!!" The amount of power he was discharging went up considerably, and the rooftop began to look like it was housing a neon sign in the shape of an electrified rat.
Maybe the taunting hadn't been the best idea, Darkwing acknowledged as he hugged the edge of the rooftop, fleeing from Megavolt's blasts. He paused at the west side of the roof, sticking his arm over the side and waving it three times in what he hoped was as natural a way as possible. So, granted, this fight hadn't gone entirely as he'd envisioned it so far, but Darkwing was a master of improvisational fighting and this whole showdown could easily be salvaged. Darkwing would keep wearing him out, and meanwhile, Launchpad would be up here in just a few minutes to distract him and help take him down.
***
In fact, Darkwing would have been absolutely right in his expectations, if Launchpad had actually been following the plan. Instead, his sidekick's attention was increasingly focused on Beth; she kept asking stuff about Drake, and he was having more and more trouble steering the conversation away from the danger zone. Launchpad felt he was generally pretty good at not giving away anything important when it came to secret identities or that kind of thing, but Beth kept asking so *many* questions that he was having a little trouble coming up with answers.
"What department?" she asked, cocking her head. She looked so *intent*; he was so fascinated by how different she was from when she was at work, how much more *alive* she seemed, that he forgot to answer. "Launchpad? What department does Mr. Mallard work in?"
"Huh?" Shoot, another tough question.
"In his social work. Do you guys both work in the same department?"
"Oh, uh..." He coughed as a way to stall. "It's, work with, uh, whattaya call it. Troubled teens."
"Social outreach kind of thing?" Launchpad nodded; Beth's eyes were practically shining. "That's so noble!"
"Yeah," said Launchpad. "And, yeah, I work with him. For him, kinda." She didn't seem to notice; he felt the tiniest touch of disappointment at that, but decided that he needed to change the subject completely before she asked something even harder. "So... do you go out a lot?"
"Go out?" She seemed taken aback; her energy level fell noticeably. "You mean like, with... with other people?"
"Yeah," he said, surprised that he'd taken the conversation that way. Sure, he'd mentioned to DW that he'd been playing with the idea of asking her out, but he hadn't given it any thought beyond that. "Out, with people."
She gave a quick, odd laugh. "Um, no, generally speaking no I don't."
"Really? You're kiddin' me," he said, grinning. She got all fidgety and looked at her feet, rubbing her cheek a little and grinning a little, herself. "Well, maybe sometime I could -"
"You probably do a lot though, huh?" she said quickly, cutting him off.
He considered the question for a moment. "Well, kinda... Not as much as I used to, but I was thinkin' of-"
"What about Mr. Mallard?" she asked, interrupting him again. "Does he go out on a lot of dates, or... well, he's probably got a wife and everything, actually, right?"
"Who, DW? Nah, he's not married. Nothin' like that." The question had given him pause; how had they ended up on the subject of Drake *again*? It wasn't until Beth's eyes lit up as she answered that he began to understand.
"Oh... he's not married?" she said. Her voice was eager; there was no mistaking it.
So she had a thing for DW. Launchpad needed to just take a little moment to process that; he really hadn't seen that coming. It wasn't like it *mattered* - he didn't have his eye on her that way or anything, it was just...
Well, what was it? He wasn't sure. His interest in Beth was purely platonic, as cute as she was capable of being. She wasn't the type of girl he generally went after, but he liked flirting with her; he liked being the guy to make her smile, since he had a feeling there weren't many guys who took the time to do it. And he really *did* like her, anyway, but that didn't have anything to do with whether or not she was interested in DW.
He was losing his touch, that was it. It wasn't that Launchpad had ever thought of himself as a real ladies' man or anything, exactly, but he'd never had any problems lining up dates either. With most girls, they at least knew when he was flirting with them; Beth was the first one who seemed genuinely ignorant of it. And it wasn't that he wanted to string her along, but he was surprised to find that they weren't on the same page here after all. Now that he thought about it, it *had* been a while since he'd been out with a girl, even casually... There'd been lots of girls when he was younger, in Duckburg, but most of the ones he'd really liked he'd had to leave behind. Then things had started to move more quickly - he'd moved to St. Canard, taken up odd jobs, started working with DW, and dating just hadn't been a priority. It took a lot of energy, it seemed, and there weren't usually more than two or three dates, and then either he or the girl lost interest; lots of misunderstandings, or just boredom.
Beth was kind of an experiment, and also kind of an attempt to ease himself back into it; go out a few times with a friend, remember how you do it, then start working into meeting new girls and seeing what happens. And it was way better to go out with a friend you knew you liked being with than it was to just pick someone at random, right?
Except now that he thought about it, asking Beth out under those circumstances, flirting with her every time he saw her... it all felt a little dishonest. He felt like a heel. Better not to ask her out in case she took it the wrong way... He was probably lucky he hadn't already set that situation up, by mistake.
"Oh, gosh, what time is it?" Beth asked suddenly. Launchpad checked his watch - it was quarter to eleven - then showed it to her. "WOW, is it really that late? I'm sorry to keep you - I should have -"
"Hey, I'm the one who's waitin' here, remember?" he interrupted, chuckling. "Calm down. It's more like I'm the one keepin' you."
She half-smiled. "It's not like that at all," she said; it was hard to tell if she was talking to him, or to herself, but she relaxed a little. "Well, I should go. I'm starving, and I have a long walk ahead of me."
Something in that sentence made him uneasy, but Launchpad tried not to show it. "Then go get somethin' to eat, an' I'll see ya later. Thanks for sayin' hi."
"Thanks for... answering," she said feebly. Her smile was distinctly nervous now, and she started past him down the sidewalk. "I'll see you. Um, probably. Right?"
"Yeah," he said, a little distractedly. It hit him belatedly what was bothering him about what she'd said. A long walk home... "How long is long?" he asked as she was walking away.
"What?" She turned back to him, and when he repeated the question, she blinked and then understood. "Oh - home? Um, about twenty minutes. So it's really not that bad, I'm just hungry, and you know how it is when you really want to *be* somewhere, right?"
"Yeah, but..." The direction she was headed in one a bad one. Launchpad had a pretty good sense of the better and worse parts of the city, and another half mile or so that way was definitely one of the worse. "Are you - you're just gonna walk?"
Beth cocked her head. "Well, yeah." She caught on a moment later, and fished through her handbag. "Oh! Oh, it's okay. I walk home all the time. I-" She paused, rummaging, then came up with a little spray can. "I have pepper spray." It had taken her a long time to find it, tucked away in her handbag. Her incredibly conspicuous handbag.
Launchpad had a sudden, vivid mental picture of Beth getting mugged. It was a horrible picture. His stomach twisted a little. "Look, I'm gonna..." He stopped. What was he going to do? Walk her home? That wasn't an option right now. With that thought as a trigger to remind him, he looked up briefly at the rooftop, then back down to Beth. He could *not* let this woman walk home alone.
She was watching him quizzically. A moment later the proverbial lightbulb went off over his head, and he dug into his pocket. "Okay. I think I got enough for a cab."
Beth came rushing back towards him, shaking her head and her hands. "Oh no, oh gosh, no no no. Please don't."
"Yeah. I'm insistin'."
"No! I can't take-" He stopped her, and forced the money into her hands. She held onto it but frowned. "I-I can afford a cab myself," she said quietly.
"Okay. Then you can pay me back later." She started to argue again, and he cut her off. "C'mon. Do me a favour, Beth." He grinned, what he hoped was appealingly, and she softened. A huge weight lifted off his chest when she nodded her consent. "Great. No rush on payin' me back, either. I'll see ya real soon."
Beth dropped her hands, cupping the money he'd just given her, and gave that half-smile again. "I'll have the money for you then." She took a step backwards, turned to go, and then turned back. "Um... Thanks."
"No problemo!"
She turned again, took two more steps, and then turned back beseechingly. "Tell Mr. Mallard 'hi' for me?"
Launchpad smiled and nodded, and what he felt was oddly melancholy. "Will do." Beth waved, and he waved back, and then she was halfway down the block, and then she had turned a corner.
He did wish he could have walked her home. But he was technically on the job, and there was DW's plan to consider... His eyes widened. "Uh-oh." Launchpad turned his head up to the rooftop, in time to see Darkwing hanging half over the edge, waving both arms frantically.
"LAUNCHPAAAAD!" he yelled. Then he disappeared - apparently pulled backwards - and there was quite a lot of light.
"*Uh-oh,*" Launchpad repeated, and raced across the street.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Whiiiine. I hate writer's block. :P
Geez. I just had to log in three times, I kid you not.
So I set myself a goal that I would have Act II of TWC1 done by April 15th, and when I set it it seemed entirely feasible. Then all of a sudden, THE WRITER'S BLOCK GOT ME and now... oh lord. I don't think I had worked on it for about two weeks. I have to finish the second chapter (which is maaaaybe halfway done) and then do the entire scene at the house and I just, every time I think about it I get sweaty.
So don't think about it, right? Because obviously that's what's giving me the block, right? I would think so too but I don't seem to be able to easily write much of ANYthing! Argh! Sadness! I'm just trying to do it as I go and it's not coming out.
I did just sit down and force myself to do a bit, and I don't like it. I'll probably be slightly more okay with it tomorrow or whenever I manage to re-read it... I just wish I liked it more NOW. Usually I'm at least mostly satisfied with it. It's introspective stuff and it just kind of goes from moderately awkward dialogue into several paragraphs of unfocused internal narrative and... there's no flow. FLOW IS IMPORTANT. Flow is NECESSARY. I love my flow. :(
Oh well. Maybe once I force a little more, I'll get the floodgates back open and I'll be able to at least finish chapter 2 this weekend. I'd like to get all of Act II done before I go back to AAE, but we'll see what happens; if I switch back after chapter 2 then AAE might end up being the easier one to work on. We'll see. I was finding the flashbacks verrry intimidating. Oh, I am just not in a writing headspace right now. :(
So I set myself a goal that I would have Act II of TWC1 done by April 15th, and when I set it it seemed entirely feasible. Then all of a sudden, THE WRITER'S BLOCK GOT ME and now... oh lord. I don't think I had worked on it for about two weeks. I have to finish the second chapter (which is maaaaybe halfway done) and then do the entire scene at the house and I just, every time I think about it I get sweaty.
So don't think about it, right? Because obviously that's what's giving me the block, right? I would think so too but I don't seem to be able to easily write much of ANYthing! Argh! Sadness! I'm just trying to do it as I go and it's not coming out.
I did just sit down and force myself to do a bit, and I don't like it. I'll probably be slightly more okay with it tomorrow or whenever I manage to re-read it... I just wish I liked it more NOW. Usually I'm at least mostly satisfied with it. It's introspective stuff and it just kind of goes from moderately awkward dialogue into several paragraphs of unfocused internal narrative and... there's no flow. FLOW IS IMPORTANT. Flow is NECESSARY. I love my flow. :(
Oh well. Maybe once I force a little more, I'll get the floodgates back open and I'll be able to at least finish chapter 2 this weekend. I'd like to get all of Act II done before I go back to AAE, but we'll see what happens; if I switch back after chapter 2 then AAE might end up being the easier one to work on. We'll see. I was finding the flashbacks verrry intimidating. Oh, I am just not in a writing headspace right now. :(
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Begin at the Beginning, part two
Well, now... I don't think I've written anything since my last entry, but since I'm still sort of focusing on TWC1's rewrite, I think it's a good time to write about it some more.
So. Characters. To start with I'll say that my style of writing is very character-based; I like to write about why characters do things, feel a certain way, behave or act in a particular style. I like to explain actions. The end result of this is that when I write fanfic for most shows (or whatever I'm writing for), nothing much happens; you might get an insight but you're not going to get a lot of development.*lol*
I'm going to digress for a moment and share my theory on fanfiction: I think most people - not all, but most - write fanfic when there is something they want to see in a series that they aren't getting from the series itself. That might be a particular pairing, a particular mood, a use of a specific character, etc. Some people like to write darker versions of DWD, some really like a character and create a character to pair them with (...ahem. *looks guilty*). There ARE writers who just like a series and want to write their own episodes or whatever and I always admire those people. I discovered that I am more likely to write fic when there's something I want to change and/or see; if I'm enjoying what I'm being given, most of the time I won't even *read* fic, let alone write it. When I do, it's the speculative "nothing happens" fic I spoke of. SO! There's my digression. :)
Anyway, what I guess I wanted to "change" with TWC was not so much a change as an addition, ie the obvious one, Beth. And yeah, you can tell that this was mostly just a matter of liking the series and kind of wanting to be "in" it more, and Beth was a character I could sort of slide right on in there, have the characters react to her, and become invested in the series. I went through this already, but I swear, I *never* thought of her as a representation of myself. I already explained all that in an earlier post, though, so I won't go into it again. ^_^ To tie this back into the second paragraph: I will make the admission that the ideal fic for me is one where almost nothing happens, except maybe some people have a lot of deep conversations about things in their life. And at the end maybe they kiss (or, if that's inappropriate for the characters in question, they don't). *G* That's an oversimplification and a poke at me, all in one! But because I focus on characters, focussing on *plot* is very, very hard for me at times.
Having said that... I thought I'd talk a little bit about my take on the characters, as they are in the beginning of the series.
To start with, there aren't really any major characters on DWD that I don't like. Ironically, I adore Honker; he's one of my favourites. And I almost never use him, probably because Beth usually fills the role he usually filled (the brainy awkward one... the one "nerding it up" to quote the Simpsons, as I so often do). But I don't have any characters who have been in more than three episodes that I don't really like, and pretty much NO characters who were in more than one episode that I actually *dislike*. I like 'em all as they are, more or less, which again is par for the course for me: if I like a character I usually am faithful to their portrayal on the series, because I figure if I wanted something about them changed then I wouldn't be such a fan of the character. Doesn't mean I don't want them to grow, I just want to acknowledge who they are and what I *like* about them that way. (Um... in this case I'm actually thinking specifically of "Xena", not DWD, when it comes to growth and changes. For the record.)
But I have a little trouble writing the characters for Darkwing, because they are *not* deep characters, they are cartoons, and were always written as such. To add a lot of depth makes them more serious and erases some of the fundamental simplicity of their characters. They're two-dimensional because that's how characters usually are on kids' programs, and it doesn't mean they're badly done or not realistic, but it does make it hard to write a fanfic that is terrifically character-driven because... well, because you just can't write a fic about a character and only show one or two personality traits, as the series often did, and have that character be relatable.
The end result of this was that, in the original version of TWC1 (and subsequent fics), Drake is... um... not terribly likeable. I love Drake; I love that he can be an arrogant jerk, and I stand by my belief that he makes snap judgements of people, those judgements are usually (8 times out of 10) more negative than they should be, and he definitely thinks he is smarter than most people. He also has the patience of a gnat. But if that's all you present of someone in a fic written from their POV, how do you justify it? If you don't, if you can't, you're not writing a character who is believeable and you're not writing a character who is likeable.
I had the fundamental problem in the first version of this fic that I was certain Drake should NOT like Beth. I've tweaked my portrayal of Beth to give a few good reasons why he would not (reasons I tried to sort of portray early on, but wasn't really strong enough in my characterizations to get it out there) - mainly that she is awkward and, unwittingly, a hindrance to him. But those reasons aren't really strong enough to carry him out-and-out DISliking her and still not make him look like a creep.
The thing about Drake is that he's pretty certain he's always right - or, at least, in many situations and at many times he's certain of that. There are exceptions; he'll acknowledge when he has no idea what's going on, he admits that people know more than he does about certain things, and of course there's the old ego-shattering that happens fairly frequently when DW goes from puffed-up ego to punctured-balloon ego. *G* But in general, he's the kind of guy who makes a habit out of taking in his surroundings, interpreting them, and refusing to listen to anyone else's take on it. When he thinks he is an expert at something, he's totally confident in that expertise.
(Sidenote: general cartoon inconsistencies taken into account, I'm mainly talking about how *I* prefer to write DW. YMMV and I believe any given episode can provide evidence to contradict my interpretation; but then as I've said, I'm looking for chances to write a fully-rounded version of the character and this is how I'm piecing him together.)
I like writing DW as fairly competent, more than half of the time. The episodes go back and forth with this, sometimes he really knows what he's doing and sometimes he's bumbling through a case. I definitely like a good gag about DW making a dumb mistake - particularly if it's actually funny, heh - but some episodes go waaaay beyond what I'm comfortable with and it makes you wonder why he still has all his limbs intact. I like to see a vigilante who mostly knows what he's doing, within limits. DW limits himself, of course, but I also enjoy the idea that some of his ego comes from a well-deserved confidence in his ability. DW believes his own press -he has to, since he's the one writing it - and a majority of the time he lives up to it. So I like to show him succeeding, having moments of greatness, perhaps tripping himself up in the process but ultimately not only coming out on top but figuring out how to come out on top. I'm not going to necessarily be consistent in it; I think part of DW's appeal is that he's not perfect, after all. But I would rather see him know what he's doing than luck into something and I don't think I'm alone there.
These two things align into Drake's initial reaction to Beth. He is competent enough to recognize what he interprets as incompetence in Beth; he is irritated with anything that does not provide him quickly with something he wants; he is impatient. He also believes in his own *right* to be annoyed with anything that's sort of... standing in his way, I guess; the fact that he's in a bad mood the morning/afternoon that he meets her doesn't change anything. To Drake, it is not a bad thing to judge someone quickly, it's perhaps a necessity since you have to trust your instincts on people if you're going to fight crime. Nor does it occur to him that someone's feelings could be hurt by his being snide; I think that often he's used to most of his comments going over peoples' heads. But this is a tricky balance to write properly, because you have to set up that the character doesn't think it's a bad thing to dislike this other character, you have to give the character's totally (within their own mind) reasonable explanations, and you have to also just cross your fingers and hope that the audience will not AGREE with the character's assessment of the other character.
Last note for this entry: I've developed, over the years, a tendency to write Drake as a sort of cynical crank. This has moved away from the TV series. It started because I was trying to find a middle ground with him for Beth, and that became something where he would be cranky around her but like her underneath it, and it's sort of gotten to a point where if something isn't the kind of thing he's directly interested in, he won't even fake an interest. Not that he will tune it out completely, just that he'll view it with a kind of resigned indifference, even get annoyed if he's asked to pay too much attention to it. Drake lives with a certain element of expectations - one of which is that HE will always be the center of attention - and he will not alter those expectations. So I don't mean to imply that I think the way I write DW is dead-on canon, though I do *try* to make him as close as I can to the Drake of the TV series. Because I love that Drake. But my writing for him has evolved over the past decade and I'm in a pattern now that I don't think I can really escape. Oh well. :) I like my Drake, too. ^_~
So. Characters. To start with I'll say that my style of writing is very character-based; I like to write about why characters do things, feel a certain way, behave or act in a particular style. I like to explain actions. The end result of this is that when I write fanfic for most shows (or whatever I'm writing for), nothing much happens; you might get an insight but you're not going to get a lot of development.*lol*
I'm going to digress for a moment and share my theory on fanfiction: I think most people - not all, but most - write fanfic when there is something they want to see in a series that they aren't getting from the series itself. That might be a particular pairing, a particular mood, a use of a specific character, etc. Some people like to write darker versions of DWD, some really like a character and create a character to pair them with (...ahem. *looks guilty*). There ARE writers who just like a series and want to write their own episodes or whatever and I always admire those people. I discovered that I am more likely to write fic when there's something I want to change and/or see; if I'm enjoying what I'm being given, most of the time I won't even *read* fic, let alone write it. When I do, it's the speculative "nothing happens" fic I spoke of. SO! There's my digression. :)
Anyway, what I guess I wanted to "change" with TWC was not so much a change as an addition, ie the obvious one, Beth. And yeah, you can tell that this was mostly just a matter of liking the series and kind of wanting to be "in" it more, and Beth was a character I could sort of slide right on in there, have the characters react to her, and become invested in the series. I went through this already, but I swear, I *never* thought of her as a representation of myself. I already explained all that in an earlier post, though, so I won't go into it again. ^_^ To tie this back into the second paragraph: I will make the admission that the ideal fic for me is one where almost nothing happens, except maybe some people have a lot of deep conversations about things in their life. And at the end maybe they kiss (or, if that's inappropriate for the characters in question, they don't). *G* That's an oversimplification and a poke at me, all in one! But because I focus on characters, focussing on *plot* is very, very hard for me at times.
Having said that... I thought I'd talk a little bit about my take on the characters, as they are in the beginning of the series.
To start with, there aren't really any major characters on DWD that I don't like. Ironically, I adore Honker; he's one of my favourites. And I almost never use him, probably because Beth usually fills the role he usually filled (the brainy awkward one... the one "nerding it up" to quote the Simpsons, as I so often do). But I don't have any characters who have been in more than three episodes that I don't really like, and pretty much NO characters who were in more than one episode that I actually *dislike*. I like 'em all as they are, more or less, which again is par for the course for me: if I like a character I usually am faithful to their portrayal on the series, because I figure if I wanted something about them changed then I wouldn't be such a fan of the character. Doesn't mean I don't want them to grow, I just want to acknowledge who they are and what I *like* about them that way. (Um... in this case I'm actually thinking specifically of "Xena", not DWD, when it comes to growth and changes. For the record.)
But I have a little trouble writing the characters for Darkwing, because they are *not* deep characters, they are cartoons, and were always written as such. To add a lot of depth makes them more serious and erases some of the fundamental simplicity of their characters. They're two-dimensional because that's how characters usually are on kids' programs, and it doesn't mean they're badly done or not realistic, but it does make it hard to write a fanfic that is terrifically character-driven because... well, because you just can't write a fic about a character and only show one or two personality traits, as the series often did, and have that character be relatable.
The end result of this was that, in the original version of TWC1 (and subsequent fics), Drake is... um... not terribly likeable. I love Drake; I love that he can be an arrogant jerk, and I stand by my belief that he makes snap judgements of people, those judgements are usually (8 times out of 10) more negative than they should be, and he definitely thinks he is smarter than most people. He also has the patience of a gnat. But if that's all you present of someone in a fic written from their POV, how do you justify it? If you don't, if you can't, you're not writing a character who is believeable and you're not writing a character who is likeable.
I had the fundamental problem in the first version of this fic that I was certain Drake should NOT like Beth. I've tweaked my portrayal of Beth to give a few good reasons why he would not (reasons I tried to sort of portray early on, but wasn't really strong enough in my characterizations to get it out there) - mainly that she is awkward and, unwittingly, a hindrance to him. But those reasons aren't really strong enough to carry him out-and-out DISliking her and still not make him look like a creep.
The thing about Drake is that he's pretty certain he's always right - or, at least, in many situations and at many times he's certain of that. There are exceptions; he'll acknowledge when he has no idea what's going on, he admits that people know more than he does about certain things, and of course there's the old ego-shattering that happens fairly frequently when DW goes from puffed-up ego to punctured-balloon ego. *G* But in general, he's the kind of guy who makes a habit out of taking in his surroundings, interpreting them, and refusing to listen to anyone else's take on it. When he thinks he is an expert at something, he's totally confident in that expertise.
(Sidenote: general cartoon inconsistencies taken into account, I'm mainly talking about how *I* prefer to write DW. YMMV and I believe any given episode can provide evidence to contradict my interpretation; but then as I've said, I'm looking for chances to write a fully-rounded version of the character and this is how I'm piecing him together.)
I like writing DW as fairly competent, more than half of the time. The episodes go back and forth with this, sometimes he really knows what he's doing and sometimes he's bumbling through a case. I definitely like a good gag about DW making a dumb mistake - particularly if it's actually funny, heh - but some episodes go waaaay beyond what I'm comfortable with and it makes you wonder why he still has all his limbs intact. I like to see a vigilante who mostly knows what he's doing, within limits. DW limits himself, of course, but I also enjoy the idea that some of his ego comes from a well-deserved confidence in his ability. DW believes his own press -he has to, since he's the one writing it - and a majority of the time he lives up to it. So I like to show him succeeding, having moments of greatness, perhaps tripping himself up in the process but ultimately not only coming out on top but figuring out how to come out on top. I'm not going to necessarily be consistent in it; I think part of DW's appeal is that he's not perfect, after all. But I would rather see him know what he's doing than luck into something and I don't think I'm alone there.
These two things align into Drake's initial reaction to Beth. He is competent enough to recognize what he interprets as incompetence in Beth; he is irritated with anything that does not provide him quickly with something he wants; he is impatient. He also believes in his own *right* to be annoyed with anything that's sort of... standing in his way, I guess; the fact that he's in a bad mood the morning/afternoon that he meets her doesn't change anything. To Drake, it is not a bad thing to judge someone quickly, it's perhaps a necessity since you have to trust your instincts on people if you're going to fight crime. Nor does it occur to him that someone's feelings could be hurt by his being snide; I think that often he's used to most of his comments going over peoples' heads. But this is a tricky balance to write properly, because you have to set up that the character doesn't think it's a bad thing to dislike this other character, you have to give the character's totally (within their own mind) reasonable explanations, and you have to also just cross your fingers and hope that the audience will not AGREE with the character's assessment of the other character.
Last note for this entry: I've developed, over the years, a tendency to write Drake as a sort of cynical crank. This has moved away from the TV series. It started because I was trying to find a middle ground with him for Beth, and that became something where he would be cranky around her but like her underneath it, and it's sort of gotten to a point where if something isn't the kind of thing he's directly interested in, he won't even fake an interest. Not that he will tune it out completely, just that he'll view it with a kind of resigned indifference, even get annoyed if he's asked to pay too much attention to it. Drake lives with a certain element of expectations - one of which is that HE will always be the center of attention - and he will not alter those expectations. So I don't mean to imply that I think the way I write DW is dead-on canon, though I do *try* to make him as close as I can to the Drake of the TV series. Because I love that Drake. But my writing for him has evolved over the past decade and I'm in a pattern now that I don't think I can really escape. Oh well. :) I like my Drake, too. ^_~
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Begin at the Beginning
Rewriting the Webfoot Chronicles.
Hm. There's so much I could talk about with this that I don't know where to start.
I guess the first question to answer - not that all that many people are likely asking it, but you know, just *rambling* here - is "Why?" That eternal question, why. Much like "Goobers or Raisinettes?" in which case the answer is OBVIOUSLY Goobers, because Raisinettes = UGH, but who actually eats either of those candies at the movies anyway? Junior Mints is clearly the only option.
Anyway. WHY rewrite the Chronicles? WHY revisit a bunch of stories I wrote in 1994? A bunch of fics that have been online almost as long as the Internet itself has been active? I mean, the question is why bother: everyone who is ever going to has read these fics and it's not as if the fact that they're shoddily written and full of cliches has turned people away from reading the later stories. Well... let me put that another way. It's not as if the fact that they're shoddily written and full of cliches has turned everyone away. ;)
The reason though is because I just... well, I realize that the stories are up in numerous places where I cannot access them and therefore cannot CHANGE them. They're up at the DAFT Archives, for example, and those versions are going to be there potentially forever. And I think in the long run those are going to be the "definitive" versions and I don't think I can change that.
But I, in all honesty, cannot reread those stories. Which is too bad, because sometimes I need to go back for research purposes and sometimes I just plain want to reread my own work because yes, I am something of an egotist, and when I read something I want it to be *good*. And - see previous egotist comment - I know I can write better than that now. I know I can write things that I enjoy rereading, because I've seen it. So it BOTHERS me. If these were fics I was no longer interested in, I could just turn aside and be a little embarrassed, but I'm still atively writing the Webfoot series and it pokes at me that the first few - especially the first three - are so... well, I guess the right word is "immature".
I have the excuse of youth when I wrote those fics. I was only 16 when I wrote the first set, really everything up through the first seven or eight - I was so darned prolific then it's astounding in retrospect but it also shows in the tone of the fics. Because they feel rushed - you know they do. You can tell I wrote them in, like, two weeks each. (Sometimes less.) Anyway, I don't really mean to imply that all sixteen-year-olds are bad writers, because like at any age it varies tremendously, but I am proud enough of myself to say that I have developed extensively as a writer since then. Could I be pro? Good God no, but I think I have learned to better craft a story, slow down, make things mean a little more and that's just a good thing all around. And yes I'm rambly, as I am right now, but usually I write so slowly these days that I can rein myself in. ;)
So: I've gone all around and I have not really actually answered the question. The question is: Why bother to rewrite these, when enough time has passed, enough people are still interested in reading (and are understanding about the reasons why the earlier fics suck)?
Because I can, I guess.
The nice thing about the originals is that each one serves as a highly functional outline for the new version. So far, with the first one, I've been able to keep almost every single plot point from the original and just expand on it, and add a few new scenes. It's a relief to know where I'm going and not have to figure out nearly as much. You know, I started the first scene of the first fic's rewrite back in 2000. It took me SEVEN YEARS to finish it - just that scene. I'm hoping to have the first fic finished by the end of summer (the end of spring would be even nicer) but who knows if I'll ever even start to rewrite the second. Well, as long as my momentum on these fics holds up, I hope I'll continue to both rewrite and just - write new ones.
R.
Hm. There's so much I could talk about with this that I don't know where to start.
I guess the first question to answer - not that all that many people are likely asking it, but you know, just *rambling* here - is "Why?" That eternal question, why. Much like "Goobers or Raisinettes?" in which case the answer is OBVIOUSLY Goobers, because Raisinettes = UGH, but who actually eats either of those candies at the movies anyway? Junior Mints is clearly the only option.
Anyway. WHY rewrite the Chronicles? WHY revisit a bunch of stories I wrote in 1994? A bunch of fics that have been online almost as long as the Internet itself has been active? I mean, the question is why bother: everyone who is ever going to has read these fics and it's not as if the fact that they're shoddily written and full of cliches has turned people away from reading the later stories. Well... let me put that another way. It's not as if the fact that they're shoddily written and full of cliches has turned everyone away. ;)
The reason though is because I just... well, I realize that the stories are up in numerous places where I cannot access them and therefore cannot CHANGE them. They're up at the DAFT Archives, for example, and those versions are going to be there potentially forever. And I think in the long run those are going to be the "definitive" versions and I don't think I can change that.
But I, in all honesty, cannot reread those stories. Which is too bad, because sometimes I need to go back for research purposes and sometimes I just plain want to reread my own work because yes, I am something of an egotist, and when I read something I want it to be *good*. And - see previous egotist comment - I know I can write better than that now. I know I can write things that I enjoy rereading, because I've seen it. So it BOTHERS me. If these were fics I was no longer interested in, I could just turn aside and be a little embarrassed, but I'm still atively writing the Webfoot series and it pokes at me that the first few - especially the first three - are so... well, I guess the right word is "immature".
I have the excuse of youth when I wrote those fics. I was only 16 when I wrote the first set, really everything up through the first seven or eight - I was so darned prolific then it's astounding in retrospect but it also shows in the tone of the fics. Because they feel rushed - you know they do. You can tell I wrote them in, like, two weeks each. (Sometimes less.) Anyway, I don't really mean to imply that all sixteen-year-olds are bad writers, because like at any age it varies tremendously, but I am proud enough of myself to say that I have developed extensively as a writer since then. Could I be pro? Good God no, but I think I have learned to better craft a story, slow down, make things mean a little more and that's just a good thing all around. And yes I'm rambly, as I am right now, but usually I write so slowly these days that I can rein myself in. ;)
So: I've gone all around and I have not really actually answered the question. The question is: Why bother to rewrite these, when enough time has passed, enough people are still interested in reading (and are understanding about the reasons why the earlier fics suck)?
Because I can, I guess.
The nice thing about the originals is that each one serves as a highly functional outline for the new version. So far, with the first one, I've been able to keep almost every single plot point from the original and just expand on it, and add a few new scenes. It's a relief to know where I'm going and not have to figure out nearly as much. You know, I started the first scene of the first fic's rewrite back in 2000. It took me SEVEN YEARS to finish it - just that scene. I'm hoping to have the first fic finished by the end of summer (the end of spring would be even nicer) but who knows if I'll ever even start to rewrite the second. Well, as long as my momentum on these fics holds up, I hope I'll continue to both rewrite and just - write new ones.
R.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
The Perils of Ficcing
*lays head on desk and sighs*
Well, first of all I just posted another chapter on FF.net of All About Elizabeth, which is y'know. Fun on wheels. ;) No, I like it, actually. Present-day stuff (if you consider 1993 to be "present day" which for the sake of this fanfic we shall), and I get to introduce Beth's younger brother, whom I still know next to nothing about. I don't know yet if he wears glasses or not (Candy does - or rather, she needs them, but she has contacts; Beef doesn't need 'em) but I *think* his hair is slightly too long. I am pretty sure it's brown.
Eventually I'll work Kit, the youngest, in there too. I mean if I didn't it would just be danged lazy, you know? ;P
However, I have the spare time to write tonight and I've been in a real writing "groove" lately but what happens all too often is that I spend my days thinking of what I will write next, then I sit down to do it when I have a free evening and all my drive goes *poof!* out the window. Or um... out something that would make a "poof!" noise. (Baby powder bottle?) The problem I run into is that I don't want to write any of the scenes I am currently at in my fics. I only have two that I'm working on right now - AAE, and the rewrite of TWC1 - and I don't feel too much like doing TWC1 just yet but I am getting annoyed with Beth's therapist and don't feel like writing him. Nor do I feel like doing a flashback. This is all a little maddening since, with a handful of exceptions, that is all this fic is about, so I'm kind of stuck.
That's the problem I run into now. For years and years I've been teasing myself with the romance stuff - I don't write it all that well, so I try to limit myself with it and mostly just write the sort of tension of it. But I really want to write it for real, and sometimes it reaches the point where everything else is just the stuff I have to get through before I can write a good romantic and/or romantic tension scene; I have destroyed myself a little, I think. *sigh*
(Can you believe I've been drawing this relationship out for 14 years now? What the heck is wrong with me? :P)
Does this happen to anyone else? Do you ever get writer's block specifically because you want so much to write a particular thing, and get bored with/don't feel like doing the in-betweens? Fortunately sometimes it does pass and I can get good blocks of actual STORY done; sometimes however, it gets really bad - and this is the worst - it gets so bad that I can't actually even skip ahead and write a scene I've been wanting to do, because it doesn't come out right, so instead I sit and stare at it with even more self-induced block. AARGH. This is why I was not cut out for this.
I'm serious about that question, though. I'd like answers if anyone has any to give; discussion is totally cool by me. I believe I have it set so that you can post here without having a blogger account - if not, leave a message on LJ and I'll see if I can change my settings.
Aaaaand this? This right here? Is called procrastinating. :P Give me strength, folks. Deep down I would like to maybe get some part of a chapter done on TWC1 or something, tonight; I'd settle for making it through the first section of a flashback if I can't do TWC1. But c'mon. SOMETHING.
Well, first of all I just posted another chapter on FF.net of All About Elizabeth, which is y'know. Fun on wheels. ;) No, I like it, actually. Present-day stuff (if you consider 1993 to be "present day" which for the sake of this fanfic we shall), and I get to introduce Beth's younger brother, whom I still know next to nothing about. I don't know yet if he wears glasses or not (Candy does - or rather, she needs them, but she has contacts; Beef doesn't need 'em) but I *think* his hair is slightly too long. I am pretty sure it's brown.
Eventually I'll work Kit, the youngest, in there too. I mean if I didn't it would just be danged lazy, you know? ;P
However, I have the spare time to write tonight and I've been in a real writing "groove" lately but what happens all too often is that I spend my days thinking of what I will write next, then I sit down to do it when I have a free evening and all my drive goes *poof!* out the window. Or um... out something that would make a "poof!" noise. (Baby powder bottle?) The problem I run into is that I don't want to write any of the scenes I am currently at in my fics. I only have two that I'm working on right now - AAE, and the rewrite of TWC1 - and I don't feel too much like doing TWC1 just yet but I am getting annoyed with Beth's therapist and don't feel like writing him. Nor do I feel like doing a flashback. This is all a little maddening since, with a handful of exceptions, that is all this fic is about, so I'm kind of stuck.
That's the problem I run into now. For years and years I've been teasing myself with the romance stuff - I don't write it all that well, so I try to limit myself with it and mostly just write the sort of tension of it. But I really want to write it for real, and sometimes it reaches the point where everything else is just the stuff I have to get through before I can write a good romantic and/or romantic tension scene; I have destroyed myself a little, I think. *sigh*
(Can you believe I've been drawing this relationship out for 14 years now? What the heck is wrong with me? :P)
Does this happen to anyone else? Do you ever get writer's block specifically because you want so much to write a particular thing, and get bored with/don't feel like doing the in-betweens? Fortunately sometimes it does pass and I can get good blocks of actual STORY done; sometimes however, it gets really bad - and this is the worst - it gets so bad that I can't actually even skip ahead and write a scene I've been wanting to do, because it doesn't come out right, so instead I sit and stare at it with even more self-induced block. AARGH. This is why I was not cut out for this.
I'm serious about that question, though. I'd like answers if anyone has any to give; discussion is totally cool by me. I believe I have it set so that you can post here without having a blogger account - if not, leave a message on LJ and I'll see if I can change my settings.
Aaaaand this? This right here? Is called procrastinating. :P Give me strength, folks. Deep down I would like to maybe get some part of a chapter done on TWC1 or something, tonight; I'd settle for making it through the first section of a flashback if I can't do TWC1. But c'mon. SOMETHING.
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