Well, that's most of February down...

I didn't realize I hadn't posted in more than a month. :P Ah well, I'm behind on everything anyway.

I got more chapter notes for TWC2; I'm going to try to do another chapter and then do the ones for the latest chapter of TWC4 too :)

Anyway here we go: TWC2 Act II, Chapter 1:

References:

Um, I don't think there are any in this one. O_o A couple of vague callbacks to episodes, but nothing really specific. The family picture that Beth looks at appears in at least one or two eps. That's actually it... I guess it's a sign of maturity that I write my own jokes now instead of referencing the shows I watched all the time, but I kinda miss the refs. :P

***

- This is actually my first time rereading this in at least a year... I'm kinda impressed with how I wrote this chapter, actually, even though nothing much happens in it. Just a good chapter for seeing Gosalyn from an outsider's perspective, and for DW in general, I think. God I'm an egotist. :P

- I'd actually forgotten that I went into a rundown of how Gosalyn's mind worked on homework. This seems apt, actually. I was thinking, I believe, of how we've seen her do homework on the show - I think maybe in "Whiffle While You Work?" She just zips through it whether it's right or not so that she can do other things. But she's clearly really very smart and just doesn't want to spend the time applying herself. I'm really not trying to get into a "real world" dissection of how Gos's personality and intellect work, but I like to stick a tiny bit more realism and detail (not too much, I hope) into my fics than are in the cartoons. What I like about the cartoons is that they imply this behind the scenes, intentionally or not. You can read this sort of thing to it if you want to look for it. :)

- And then meanwhile, I love when Gos turns around and gets into trouble. She's so GOOD at it. My original version of this fic had more specific instances of troublemaking but I didn't really like them then and I hate them now. I thought it would be better to just sort of gloss over Gos doing whatever she likes (including breaking things) and Beth cleaning up after her, only to stand up and find something new has been broken. XD It's OK, though, Beth likes to clean. :P

- What's sort of more important and kind of up to the reader to decide if it works is Beth's liking of Gosalyn (underneath the personality mismatch Beth gets really attached to her really quickly) as well as Gosalyn's initial semi-detached liking of Beth. I think this starts as "she's not really bad and she lets me do what I want" but I'm not sure where exactly it turns into liking her for real. I guess it's just based around the fact that Gosalyn, unlike her father, doesn't *dislike* many people for no reason. Beth, yeah, she can be a bit... much, but she's actually better with kids than with adults, and so she's not as irritating as she is with Drake. But that comes later - she's basically in a "please walk all over me" stage in this fic with Gosalyn. Still though, I think Gosalyn's reaction to her is decent. Not mean-spirited, she just takes the opportunity to have a good time and get away with stuff, and Beth isn't bothering her.

- I'm not *really* sure when I came up with the idea that DW would think Beth is a supervillain. I think it was before I got very far into this fic, though. I mean, I know I hinted at the end of TWC1 that he thought she'd been in cahoots with Megavolt, but that was really a passing thing... I hadn't intended for him to return to it once Megs was defeated and she showed up again. But then I had the idea that this would be his keystone excuse for disliking her - when of course, really, he's just suspicious of her *because* he doesn't like her. But it's easier to dislike someone when you think you have a really great rationale. XD

- In spite of his view on Beth I never, ever mean for DW to come off as too mean, or as unsympathetic, or as dislikable. There are episodes of the series where he's an absolute *creep*, to people he really loves; yet we still love him and relate to him. That's all I was going for here, just the fact that it would be more in his character to dismiss or downright dislike someone like Beth (and it creates drama because she's gone on him), not to make him look BAD. I hope nothing I write looks like character assassination, because it's really done with love and acceptance, even appreciation, of Drake's flaws.

- So help me I love the scene between DW and Gos. :) The cute parts, I mean. I love writing their interactions, the way they love each other so much but push all of each others' buttons, and sometimes can't resist doing so on purpose. :D

- Fifty points for having Gos completely, straight-faced get offended that her father would even THINK of suggesting that she'd have Beth do her homework for her. I think she's even actually offended by the suggestion even though it's totally true. XD

- UGH LATE NIGHT INVENTORIES, Beth, I feel for ya.

Young ladies? I ROCK ya!

I thought I'd do a music post!

I've been lately trying to sort of "score" TWC as a series and I finally put together a playlist on YouTube to help me. Now instead of just looking these songs up when I'm not a computer with my MP3s (which is most of the time), I can just go to my playlist! Yaaay!

..So it's a work in progress, but I have 15? I think? songs on there right now from varying points in the series. Most of them are around TWC3-4 though. :P At this point it's like every chapter in TWC4 has a song. GAH.

Here's the link to the playlist in general: THIS link! Right HERE! There is no actual rocking of young ladies involved. Unless you like a lot of 80s music and quite a bit of schmoopy love songs. :D And if you do, YOU'RE ME! XD Enjoy the playlist!

So I'm also thinking, since it's not necessarily clear at a glance, that I'll elaborate on a few of these picks. They are roughly in order in the series, starting with Love Stinks by the J. Geils Band!

- This is the unofficial "theme" of TWC. It's expliclitly referenced in "High, Dry, and Flooded" (twice in fact) but it's been the "theme" for the series ever since I heard it in high school when I was first writing the fics.
- It's the "Love Triangle" thing in case you didn't get it. :P
- I didn't hear it on the radio for years and then suddenly there it was in rotations again, occasionally. YAY! Finally I caved and bought the MP3.
- It's used brilliantly in "The Wedding Singer" which is among my "guilty pleasure" RomComs. That movie makes me cry to the point where I'll watch the happy ending twice in a row. But I digress.
- My father was friends with J. Geils! :D Random fun fact.

Just today I added the second song, Another Day by Paul McCartney (and Wings? I'm not clear on that). I've had a lot of trouble finding songs for the first two fics. I wanted something that would kind of sum up Beth, too.
- They play this song at my grocery store sometimes which is what brought it to my attention. :P
- When I finally looked up the words I realized it was pretty perfect for Beth at the start of the series, as it sums up a boring, lonely life lived by an ordinary woman who never has anything interesting happen to her.
- Paul McCartney's solo stuff is so LIVELY. :D
- This is the only song I have for TWC1 so far. If anyone can suggest anything else that would be great!

I'll do another post sometime soon with the next few songs. ^_^

The Writing Bug

I've been writing like a fiend this past weekend :D I've actually been alternating between my two in-progress fics, TWC4 (working on Chapter 4) and "Those Daring McQuacks in their Flying Machines" (Act II chapter 2). I'm mostly done with the TWC4 chapter and perhaps half done with the other.

The unfortunate part is that I'm not really sure when I'm going to release them once they're done. Because I know I'm not going to get much, if any feedback, and I know it's going to be discouraging. And as long as I'm writing them for me and enjoying them, I'm happy. So I might just sit on this for a while, ride the wave and see how far it gets me. If I can make significant headway on "Flying Machines" this week that would be amazing. I started that one almost a year ago now and I barely have the presence of mind to work on it (this is only the 4th chapter out of, I suppose, 9 that I'm on right now), but it's nice to be in the "current" timeline sometimes instead of back in the rewrites.

It's neat, in any case. I'm not sure precisely when I started working on TWC4, I think it was the middle of last week but I can't quite remember; but I'm about 3600 words through THAT with one more scene to do so it'll probably top out around 4500 or so. And I started "Flying Machines" on Friday night, I think, and I'm a good 3,000 words into THAT by now. It'll likely get split into two chapters. There were a bunch of things I wanted to put into the first chapter of Act II that didn't fit, so I have to get them done first and THEN get to what I had planned for chapter 2... so it's definitely longer than intended. Act I had two chapters so I guess Act II will have 4. Oh well.

Notes for Chapter 3 of TWC2! THIS IS HAPPENING. Because I have to get through these damn things sometime.

References:
- Harry Potter (Gillyweed). Not sure why I tossed that in there except that it's kind of cute. I'm not really much of a Pottergeek and probably wouldn't catch half the refs someone else might throw into this sort of thing.
- The Simpsons - kind of; Gos's "All of it?" in response to Beth asking her what area she needed help in is a throwback to Homer's response to being asked what safety initiatives he has spearheaded in his role as safety inspector. "...All of them?"

First scene: I've always envisioned Bushroot as basically being a vine-like structure. I think that's obviously the case with his arms, anyway. I guess his body could be considered a stem, but I like the increased flexibility that it would have from being a vine. Still, though, this refers to his arms and they are definitely vines, IMO. haha, like I'm the definitive opinion. XD

I love Spike. I love the interactions between Spike and Bushroot. I tried to write the parts where Bushy is all mad scientist and then goes into "normal guy mode" with Spike around. :D

Listen to me BS about how this compound works! I thought long and hard over this half-assed explanation! Originally the fic just had Bushroot able to just... make all the plants get big. I decided for him to do it all throughout the entire town he'd need some kind of help, but he can make formulas easily, so why not here?

Playing early on with the "secret identity" dance, and keeping Beth from figuring it out. Not sure how convincing this is... it's always going to be a big huge plot hole for me and I can't fix it. *sigh*

So here's another thing I thought long and hard on, and didn't really effectively manage, IMO. HOW would Beth manage to get Gos to do what she asks? Beth is good with kids, surprisingly, but not with telling people what to do. And Gos is really good at not doing what she's told, anyway. There's no reason that Gos wouldn't walk all over her, unless Beth can offer something. So I came up with the moderately unethical solution of Beth offering to do half of Gos's homework, and rationalizing it to herself by making Gos do the other half. XD

I tried to make Gos sound like herself, be likable but a handful.

Aaaand we return to "Beth Mallard". And LP getting as big of a kick out of it as I do. XD

By this point I had hit on the idea that perhaps DW might keep Beth around because he's suspicious of her, and that it would give him an excuse to keep disliking her. So this was how I set it into motion.

And we end with another Spike scene. So much fun to write. :D Tried to visualize this and then give some POV reactions as I thought Spike's body language might suggest them. :)

30 Days Meme day 15

Day 15 – Warnings – What do you feel it most important to warn for, and what’s the strangest thing you’ve warned for in a story?

I feel it's vital to warn for sexual content. Not only for age reasons but for those of us who (as I mentioned in my last post) have issues with sexual or violent content for certain shows. I can't make people warn for it, of course, but... I prefer to be warned.

Myself, I *overwarn* for those things.

I don't like it when people insist on being "warned" about pairings, but I know some people have issues with not knowing. I'd like to know the genre up front I guess... But only if it's tightly in that genre. I don't have a particular genre I center in so I can't warn for those, so it's pointless for me to bitch about people NOT labelling them.

I don't know, though. I don't warn all that much. I guess I warn if I write anything outside the normal spectrum of the series, and I do write a notice about having an OC because some people don't want to read OC fics and I'm cool with that. I'd rather have them not read the fic than read it, find out there's an OC, and bitch at me. ;)

The weirdest thing I ever warned for was angst. A whole big, mushy pile of angst. :D

30 Days Meme day 14

Day 14 – Ratings – how high are you comfortable with going? Have you ever written higher? If you’re comfortable with NC-17, have you ever been shocked by finding that the story you’re writing is G-rated instead?

Right now I'll usually only go up to R, at most. A rather mild R. And honestly, right NOW, I don't think I'd write above a PG-13 but depending on the fandom I'd be willing to go up to R.

I did used to write explicit smut though :D

What's happened now is that I guess I sort of feel less exhibitionary now that I'm older - I also feel like most of my smut is really over the top 9_9 And that's assuming I'm not writing in DWDverse.

In DWDverse, I have the same reaction I have to all programs aimed at kids: I have a very, VERY hard time putting myself outside of the "kid-friendly" mindset. I approach ALL child-friendly shows that way: even Avatar, which had some way older themes and debatably has characters who could, perhaps within a few years, have sex drives and justified smut fics - I have no interest in writing or even reading anything above a PG-13 rating. With Darkwing I have to know what I'm going to be seeing before I go to it and even then it's a stretch. I have tried, and I'm just not comfortable with explicit sexual content. Or, well, anything that's very strongly outside the original tone of the show, so I have cognitive dissonance when a character *swears* in a fic. :D I can't write it.

I *can* break outside of that - vaguely - and slowly, by getting very used to the idea first. But even then I have to label it "non-canon" in my head.

It is 60 minutes after I intended to go to bed

I may keel over.

I'm jus tgoing to jump into chapter notes on TWC4. I know this is jarring b/c I haven't done any notes on Chapters 1 or 2 but... I'll get to those later. :)

References:

- The Big Bopper and Buddy Holly
- Also "Buddy Holly" by Weezer - I couldn't resist on that one.
- DWD episode "Twin Beaks"


- Okay, Chapter 3 and we FINALLY get a reference to the earthquake plot being more than just a backdrop for the fic :P And it will take even longer to see that pan out... think "next act"...

- I think this might possibly be the earliest (chronological) reference to the fact that Beth used to live in Duckburg. I'm pretty sure I hadn't mentioned this in the earlier fics anywhere.

- You know, Beth's thought that maybe she won't be seen by "too many people who matter" when she finds that Launchpad is the one who answers the door is just.. mean. She doesnt' realize it's mean but it's mean. :(

- This scene was really hard to write. I'm not sure why... well for one it went on a little too long and I couldn't cut things without making it disjointed so I kept having to just trash it and rewrite it, pushing a bit harder in a particular direction. But also, getting the right tone was SUPER tricky. You know - just making sure that it didn't come across as mean, and that there was a reason that he'd think she was fine with the conversation. The reason is because she dislikes confrontation and she's telling herself to lighten up, so she makes herself go along with it but the minute he starts implying that she might not be UNattractive she can't take it since she takes it to mean the reverse.

- Right after the Launchpad scene I had a scene with Beth speaking to Binkie and being kind of fascinated with her... from the perspective of, like, "I didn't think that mothers like her still existed today!" I kept it and I'll put it up here maybe tomorrow, I think ther'es nothing wrong with it, but it was not essential to the plot at all. Just cut for length. At this point in the fic, they have met before (the previous night in fact), but Beth just can't figure out how to respond to Binkie.

- The original version of the fic had Launchpad driving Beth and Gos to the mall, but not staying with them. He did it just because he was sweet on Beth so you could say pretty much anything like "Beth needs a drink of water" and he'd go get it. Or "Beth needs an entire new wardrobe" and he'd be like "What colour?" Which is a terrible idea, to let LP pick out your clothes. But I digress. Another difference is that instead of Honker going with them, Binkie accompanied them. I DO NOT KNOW WHY NOW. I thought about leaving that in but couldn't find any possible reason it would make sense. Instead it made more sense to have Honker along and let Beth hang out with two children vastly younger than her. :)

- So. I have to say. The stuff with Gosalyn all leaves me incredibly pleased with myself. I wish I'd heard from people who liked it but ... at least I've not heard from anyone saying they DON'T like it. Silver lining! :D Seriously though, I just had so much fun writing her and I think it's not only fun to read, I think it's in-character. I sure hope so anyway. I find GOs can be tricky to write.

- I don't think it's abnormal to have an eye exam/glasses store inside a mall. If it seems abnormal, please know that when we were in college my husband used to go to a dentist whose office was in the mall. So maybe it's just that kind of mall. Incidentally note how this puts a timestamp on the fic: there's a Halloween store mentioned, to remind you that it's October. :)

- The idea that Beth could just get not only frames and new lenses but also contact lenses, in approximately an hour, is silly. At least I think it is. I know it was when I first wrote it back in the mid-'90s... I assume it still is. But let's just go with it. It is not the only thing I will be asking you to suspend disbelief on during this fic. XD

- I discovered while RPing Beth that she doesn't let people move her outside of her comfort zone. I can't force her to do anything interesting because when I'm in her headspace she argues politely but ferociously. She nearly always wins. So it seemed logical to work that into the fic and have Gos get frustrated. Beth seems like a pushover but that's only when it's for someone else's benefit. If it's for hers she won't do it and you can't make her.

- Also I really need to write Honker more often. (I said that just the other day when I posted the preview for this chapter, I know.) He's just very... quiet. But I like having him around, and before the rewrites he didn't appear in the series until TWC5. Even if he's only been in it a little, at least he's been *present* since TWC3. Meanwhile, within this fic, I really liked having him and Beth jibe a bit on their opinions. They get along really well since in a lot of ways they're kind of um... the same character. ^^;

- Throwing in a reference to Honker's Aunt Trudy from Twin Beaks just happened but it felt natural. I like it. :)

- I think I've said this before, but I'll specify it again: Beth is actually a very good seamstress, but you can't tell it from looking at her clothes because she doesn't make them to fit her properly. She makes all her shirts at least one size too big, for reasons unknown. I don't show that properly in my pics of her. :P But it's true!

- Favourite line in this one is Gosalyn's dismissal of the candy store comparison.

Hey, Hey, I wanna be a rock star

More TWC2 chapter notes! I realized I should've been doing these every time I put up a chapter. Maybe I'll start putting them up for TWC4 as I go. But I'm so behind... Anyway here's chapter 2 of TWC2, "Sea of Green".

References:

-Fic: TWC1, "My Kingdom for a Double-Plait Bolt", in the reference to Beth having given the wrong name when she introduced herself.
-The Simpsons (LP saying he'd square things before she arrived, then forgetting UNTIL she arrived, is based on Homer doing the same thing in a different situation)
- The Simpsons again - indirectly; I've always drawn a little bit of inspiration from Bart Simpson for Gosalyn, in terms of getting into trouble. So LP's overwhelming "And there's the tour of all of our fire extinguishers" and so forth really sort of starts with that.
- It doesn't really REALLY count as a reference since it's a part of nearly every episode of the show, but Beth references "Basil of Baker Street", the name of the book that became Disney's "The Great Mouse Detective". Since, of course, the statue that activates the transport chairs is Basil from GMD.

Okay, as a just sort of overview of this chapter, I found it really challenging to come up with a good reaction for Drake to have, and a reason why he'd let her stay and not just turn her down. I think it's kind of a reach, and it was a reach to keep it going afterwards, but... there had to be some reason, right? Better a slight reach than just no acknowledgement of the fact that it makes no sense for him to have a stranger babysit Gos, right? Bah. Sometimes I wish I'd come up with a different way to get Beth into the main cast. :P

Beth's mental description of Drake is me trying to put myself into her head and find him attractive. Since even though I love Drake dearly, I am completely not attracted to him in the slightest, this is always hard. XD

A return to Beth Mallard, from the last fic. Which I have to admit I thought was hilarious and have to bring up as often as I can. It's possibly my favourite throwaway gag in the whole fic.

Every so often I run into an awkward situation with Beth and Launchpad where he does something that I would almost swear should upset her or make her angry, and instead she thinks it's cute. Every time it happens I wonder if it makes sense that she'd think it was cute or if she should really be disappointed in him. I *think* it's okay, because Beth is rarely disappointed in anyone but herself, and when it comes to Launchpad she honestly thinks he hung the moon most of the time; so she lets him get away with a lot. That might not work quite right in other peoples' heads though, which... I can't really defend.

Awkward attempt at writing out a visual gag: Beth knocking over and almost breaking the framed picture. That would work SO much better if it was not a described action.

LP flirting with Beth, awwww XD Apparently, looking at this chapter... he does that a LOT. O_o

The bowling excuse was in the original fic, and I couldn't think of a better one (plus I just... really thought it was funny for some reason), so it remains. Flimsy excuses FTW!

I really enjoyed Beth's dramatic reaction to being hired as babysitter, somehow. He's all "Yeah yeah whatever" and she's all "Me so happy me want to cry D8"

Beth mentions "Basil of Baker Street" and not "The Great Mouse Detective" because I liked the idea that Basil is essentially Sherlock Holmes in this universe, and thus a well-known literary figure and known AS "Basil of Baker Street". Sure, the movie "The Great Mouse Detective" might have been made, but that's just ONE of the film adaptations of Basil. ...Or so I have decided. XD

If you were to ask me for my favourite moments of writing Drake or Darkwing I'd have to say my single fave line is the one he gives Beth about the view from OUTSIDE the house. That one, somehow, feels the most in-character; something Drake would slip in to be sarcastic and rely on whoever he's saying it to just not getting it. And in Beth's case, it works, because she just doesn't expect to be spoken to that way so it doesn't quite connect for her.

Beth's line "I would be pleased beyond belief to do that!" works best if you envision it being said very loudly and matter-of-factly. She's completely sincere, but she's also trying VERY hard to be noticed in her sincerity.

30 Days Meme day 13

Time to start getting back to this...

Day 13 – Do you prefer canon or fanon when you write? Has writing fanfic for a fandom changed the way you see some or even all of the original source material?

I prefer canon. When I wrote Xena fanfic I used to incorporate a bit of fanon sometimes, but a lot of times it would end up being contradicted, and once it was I would inevitably go with the canon. One of the main ones I remember was where Joxer was born, and since it hadn't been stated, it became fanon that he came from a particular place - Corinth, I think it was? Then the series actually gave a place, in season five, and people were perplexed. "WAIT Athens? I thought he was from Corinth!" That irritated me since it was pure fanon that had spread. It's silly to get annoyed by this simple mistake, but I was anyway. ^^;

I don't get annoyed by fanon as much anymore but I do get annoyed when people believe that it's canon, and correct me for it. Like someone who told me that it was canon that Quackerjack's real name was "Jack Quackers" or something like that. No, in canon, he does not HAVE a real name. You can't control what fanon people believe comes from the show, though - they're like memes, they just spread and no one knows where they came from - so I just have to shrug it off. (I hate being corrected wrongly though, lol.)

Uhhh, this kind of doesn't really answer the question, does it... it's more of a ramble... Okay, back to the real question.

Do I prefer fanon or canon? I prefer canon. In fact, with the fics I write now, I stick to canon as close as I possibly can; if there aren't details given sometimes I'll make some up but more often I won't directly address it. Like, I don't believe DW has any siblings and I don't think his parents are around, but I don't necessarily think they're dead either. I'm never going to state one way or the other in my fics. On the other hand, I think it's fanon that Launchpad has a good relationship with his sister Loopy; in DuckTales they barely interacted. But I WANT them to be close so I came up with an explanation that they rarely see each other but they write letters *constantly*. So I'm not a nazi about it canon-only. ;)

As to whether writing fanfic for a series has changed how I see the source material? Not... really... I mean, usually I only write fic for a series if I've already examined it heavily, which is something I do with series that I like. I like to go into things knowing what I'm trying to examine. I have had opinions of the source material change but I think that has more to do with my aging and viewing it differently than with it being a result of writing for it. I honestly don't think writing for a series, and whether I use fanon or canon, has ever changed my opinion on the series.

On Being Shy in the Fandom

Note: I wrote this mainly to go on my journal on deviantART but it got way too long, so I'm putting it here and linking to it from there. So if anything still pertains precisely to DA, sorry for any confusion!

Hi everyone. My name is Rebecca. I go by Zebeckras, and have used it absolutely everywhere for the past 17 years or so now, but generally speaking I like to be called Rebecca.

(If you're thinking "What about nicknames?" I'm not picky. I like "Becca" or "Bec", I'm not crazy about "Becky" - to me it's actually a different name than "Rebecca" - but some people use that automatically and frankly, I'm kind of flattered that they want to nickname me, so it's all good to me. You CAN call me Zeb, but like I said, I tend to use Zebeckras more as an identifier/screen name than a nickname, so I always feel like people who really know me call me Rebecca.)

I'm telling you this so that you can get to know me. :) Here are a few more facts:

1) I'm in my early 30s.
2) I have two kids and have been married for ten years this October to my first and only real boyfriend.
3) Although I like a lot of other things (often passionately - I take joy in the things I like), I write and draw almost exclusively for Darkwing Duck fandom unless someone requests something else, mainly because I find it hard to function in more than one fandom at a time.
4) I was part of the "first" Darkwing Duck fandom, which was actually a sort of unfocused Disney Afternoon fandom that initially sprung up around a group of friends that I was a part of. This "claim to fame" is meaningless and doesn't make me any more special or influential than anyone else, but I mention it as a point of trivia. :)
5) I've been writing DWD fanfics since 1994. Yep, really. You probably only met/heard of me in the past year though.
6) I like to talk to people and I like to make new friends. There aren't many things that turn me off of people, and about the only one that really matters is I dislike people who don't take responsibility for their own actions. That's about the only reason I'd avoid someone. I consider it a harbinger of Internet Dramaz.
7) I'm shy.

Hey! Maybe you're shy too! In that case pull up a chair and let's talk! :D Seriously, I'm not joking, leave me a comment if you'd like to get to know me better. :)

If you are shy, and you're not sure how to talk to people, and you're wondering why I say I'm shy but I have a lot of friends on here, maybe you'd like to know how I managed that. Most of the people I'm good friends with in DWD fandom are people I met in the past 18 months (or less, actually). If you don't care or this sounds like I'm talking down, hey, just ignore. It's cool. :) If you'd like some tips though... I'd like to help. Some people said recently in an anonymous forum that they feel really alone in the fandom and they have a hard time reaching out. That made me kind of sad and I'd like to help if I can.

So here we go.

First of all: as I said, I used to be in the fandom in the 90s. There are a lot of older authors and artists I can remember, but no, I didn't know all of them. (I did know Tracy Pierce if you're wondering. We don't keep in touch, but yes, she was amazing and a sweetheart. And yes she is still alive and is still drawing, but it's original stuff now, and yes it's still great :) I can reminisce if anyone wants me to. No? Not right now? Well, you're right, that's not what I'm writing this for. Where was I?

Oh yes. So I was in the fandom in the 90s. I found it hard though once my small group kind of went our separate ways. I joined a couple of forums but I've always had a hard time keeping up in forums. I did this off and on from about 1996 until about 2001; in 2002 I tried to join a DWD RP group on Yahoo and only lasted about a month before disappearing. (I did meet more people there including Amanda/Disneypsycho :D) Then I sort of just disappeared. I kept in touch with some of the fandom via Livejournal, and I just sort of ghosted around for a while until last year, when I started really feeling LONESOME. In a way I had felt off and on for some time, but only just REALLY lonesome - for other DW fans - now. Part of it was because I felt like I'd like more people to know my fics and my character, Beth, but part of it was just an urge to talk to other DW lovers.

So even though my earlier efforts at being in the fandom had failed, I decided I would have to put myself out there. There were a lot of new fans and I could get to know them personally if I tried, right? So I went to the Old Haunt, the forumm on the Negaverse.net site. Most of the fandom hangs out there in some way or another, even if it's just via lurking. I had never been even though I'd heard the name used several times. Maybe two weeks later I decided to bite the bullet and get a deviantART account, since I'd been spending more and more time stalking a few of the DWD fandom artists there. Initially i had like maybe ten people watching me and I didn't even plan on drawing, heh. ^^;

So, that's background. What does this have to do with making friends? You may ask. You might say to yourself, "I already KNOW I need to be social but it's hard for me! And when I do it, the conversation only goes on for so long!" So hey, don't worry, I'm getting there.

So this is what I learned in the months since September 2010. And it took me a long while. What I learned is, nearly EVERYONE ELSE in this fandom is shy, too. I went in to the Old Haunt and I introduced myself and everyone said "Hi! Welcome!" and in some cases "I know you!" And then it was quiet and I thought "Now what?" And I'd post an answer to something on a thread and wait to see if anyone replied and no one would. At first I thought "Oh man. Everyone hates me and I just killed the conversation." But actually, it was just that people aren't really paying attention to who is writing something. It depends on how open your comment is. If you ask a question you're more likely to get an answer - period. If you're just commenting or chiming in with your opinion in a sea of others doing the same, it probably won't turn into a conversation.

However, doing that repeatedly allowed other people to get to know me. We found shared interests. I met Cheeezey and learned she's a fellow "Real Ghostbusters" fan in addition to being a DWD fan. I met Seikou/Fies (depending on where you know her from) and we chatted about things we had in common.

The thing is, it took a long time. And it continued to take a long time. And it STILL takes a long time. Malicia? She was SO welcoming when I started posting. She sounded like she was really, genuinely happy and flattered to have me join the board. (Side note: I'm pretty sure she really was, too. Knowing her more personally now, I know that few things make her as happy as bringing people together into the fandom and having them participate.) But then she'd be really quiet. I thought she'd post more and she didn't. I'd wonder why no one wanted to talk to me. When I finally just came up and sort of awkwardly said to Mal "Okay, I want to be your friend and I hope that's OK" she said of course it was, and she'd been nervous that *I* wouldn't want to be friends with *her* and so she was lying low to keep from seeming pushy.

So it turns out that Mal is shy too. Go figure. O_o

Snark? I got to know her through DA. I watched her and then immediately took off all notifications of her artwork because as mentioned above, I have two young children and Snark is the notorious Porn Queen of the fandom (well, her and Moonie, lol). I noted her to explain it, and that I did love her art but would see most of it through groups and when I remembered to check her profile, and she was totally cool with it. Then we just started to talk more.

And on and on.

In almost every case I took the initiative. Because I had to. Because otherwise nobody knows you want to be their friend.

I still take the initiative, and sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. There are people I've sort of "stalked" and tried to be friendly with, been conversational with, and they've been nice and replied but only with a "thanks!" or maybe a longer, but not open-ended, reply. If I get that a lot, I must be honest, I stop trying. Even with people I really *want* to get to know, if I feel like I'm not making headway - it takes a lot of mental and emotional energy for me to be outgoing, even on the internet, and the only thing that refreshes that energy is getting the same in kind. After a while, I ahve to conserve my batteries.

Also, I will admit, I have lately stopped conversational comments after a point just because I don't have time (full-time job + two kids + trying to keep writing fanfic = Get Off of Internet Plz). But it DOESN'T mean I don't want to be friendly, meet new people, or any of that. It just might mean that you may need to make a bit more effort to get me to see that you want to engage me. I try - but just keep in mind, I'm shy. It's hard for me. Everyone I have mentioned being friends with here is shy. We all just try. :)

Oh, and in terms of making friends with comments, here is my suggestion: when you reply to someone's picture, if you want to be friendly with them, mention something about yourself. If they want to have a conversation, they'll respond to that as well as to your comment on their picture. If they don't, don't take it personally - they might just not have noticed. Try again later or move on to someone else. Whatever's easier for you. Just don't get discouraged. :) It doesn't ALWAYS work, of course, but a lot of the people I have become friends with on DA and elsewhere are my friends because I'm conversational in comments - and after a while of me coming in and chatting, rather than just "this is great!", they knew enough of me to start thinking of me as a friend.

So that's my secret. Steal it if you'd like, and good luck. And remember I'm always here to talk. :)

I so don't use Honker enough :(

So first: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE 30 DAY WRITING MEME REBECCA

Shut up! I'm going to finish it. Things happened at the end of the year. :P

Second, I'm trying to finish up the 3rd chapter of TWC4, a bit at a time. Oddly enough the hardest scene to write this time was a Beth and LP one; normally those come more easily. This time however the fun easy one is Beth going out shopping with Gosalyn. Oh Gos, you are a trip. :D But I'm sad because Honker always stays quiet. I have a very hard time getting him to talk.

Anyway, just because I feel like posting something here since it's been a couple of weeks, here's a little bit from midway through the chapter. I'm hoping to have this one done by Friday or Saturday so that it can get no reviews just like the rest. ;)

****

***

The bus ride to the mall was uneventful, so Gosalyn spent it visualizing a few ideas for Beth's new look. Beth didn't seem to take to this particularly well, and as a result Gosalyn began to toss out increasingly odd ideas just to watch her babysitter squirm. Okay, so maybe it wasn't the nicest thing for her to do, but it was just so *funny* to watch the expressions that crossed Beth's face. Plus, maybe teasing her with far-out suggestions would make it easier for Beth to loosen up with a few less-crazy ideas.

When they got to the mall, they had to go to the eye exam place first so that Beth could get her exam done before getting the order for the new frames in. Honker and Gosalyn sat in the front section of the store, which was supposed to look like a waiting room; but since the front window faced out to a view with photo booths and a temporary Halloween store, it didn't quite have a doctors-office feel.

Gosalyn shifted in boredom. "You'd think they'd at least have better magazines."

"Well, these are only three months old... Doesn't your dad always say that most waiting rooms never have any magazines that are less than five years old?" Honker asked.

"Yeah, but if the magazine is 'Eye Daily', how recent it is doesn't really matter," Gosalyn answered in disgust. She turned and addressed the woman at the counter, who was arranging a shelf of designer frames. "Hey! 'Scuse me! Do you have those contact lenses that make your eyes look all white, like zombie eyes?"

The woman frowned and turned away without answering.

"Did you see that?" Gosalyn said loudly to Honker, who tried to get her to keep her voice down. "I guess I won't be buying any from HERE even if they do sell them!"

"Um, I'm pretty sure they only sell those in costume shops, Gosalyn," Honker said. "She probably thought you were making fun of her."

"I'm a potential paying customer!" Gosalyn sniped, crossing her arms. "I'm taking my hypothetical business elsewhere! ...Hey, you wanna try on some of the glasses while we wait?"

"Um, uh, well-"

Fortunately or not, Beth came back out just then. "Okay, done!"

"Yeah? Did you pick out glasses without me?" Gosalyn asked, hopping up from her chair. Honker remained seated, but looked attentively at both of his companions.

"Oh, no, not yet. Don't worry. No, actually, maybe it's a good thing I broke my glasses last night because I had to get a new prescription and it turns out that my prescription has changed a little bit since last time so it's about time I got new glasses anyway... I mean I wouldn't have chosen *now*, ideally, you know, because I don't have a lot of money but I guess it's as good a time as any - so..." She ran out of steam, stopped, and just looked blankly at Gosalyn for a moment as though she was surprised by the silence. Gosalyn waited a second longer before speaking, just to be sure Beth was really done; that ramble hadn't had any point at the end of it. When Beth stayed quiet, Gosalyn asked, "So what, then?"

"Oh! Well now we pick out frames and I have them fill the prescription, and then we can go wander around while they get everything ready. And we can pick them up on our way out of the mall when we leave." She turned to Honker and smiled. "So - are you both up for giving me some feedback?"

"You BET!" Gosalyn half-shouted, and pulled Beth's arm towards the wall of sample frames in the corner. "And while you're at it, can you check and see if they sell those contacts that turn your eyes all white, like zombie eyes...?"

"Um... I'll ask," Beth answered uncertainly.

They looked about for a good fifteen minutes, with Beth hemming and hawing and ultimately shooting down all of Gosalyn's suggestions. "But the old ones were blue! What's wrong with blue?"

"Well, no, blue is pretty - it's just - I already said no neon colours, Gos."

"This isn't neon!" Gosalyn said, sounding affronted. "This is *electric* blue!"

she refused the cat-eye shaped frames too, and Gosalyn began to wonder why she'd even been invited along. When Honker quietly suggested that Beth try a pair of large round frames much like his own - and like Beth's old ones - Gosalyn almost lost it. "Those are almost exactly like the ones you *had*!" she exclaimed.

"Well... I like these!" Beth said, shrinking away from the ten-year-old girl's fury.

Gosalyn pouted. "I can't believe we just spent all this time so that you could pick out the *same glasses you always had!*"

"They're not the same!" Beth said, and looked helplessly at Honker.

Honker nodded. "They have a flexible bridge that helps keep them intact under harsh conditions-"

"RRRRRRRGH!" The noise that Gosalyn made effectively quieted the two bespectacled shoppers. Almost timidly, Beth made her way to the cash desk and handed over her prescription and the frame sample. The cashier handed her a form and a pen, and Beth began filling the form out.

"What's that?" Gosalyn asked, though she didn't really care.

"I have to place an order," Beth explained, without looking up.

"Oh. Oh, you didn't ask about the contacts," Gosalyn reminded her, and at that Beth *did* look up just long enough to raise an eyebrow, before looking back down at the form. "OH! HEY! That's it, that's what you should do! Get contacts!"

"I am not," Beth said firmly, "going to interviews with white zombie eyes."

"Not *zombie* contacts," Gosalyn explained, "just regular ones. Right, Honker?"

"Oh... um..." Honker stammered, and couldn't quite get an answer out. Gosalyn spoke for him.

"He means yes." Beth, she noticed, looked dubious so Gosalyn said, "Oh come on. You said you wanted to stop blending in, right? If you're not going to buy flashy, easy-to-see glasses, just lose the glasses completely!"

After a moment, Beth sighed. "Okay. Fine. You did come all the way out here with me, and... why not. Maybe they will come in handy sometime." She checked off a box on the order form, and returned the completed version to the cashier.